Bible Facts

Spans 1500 years
66 books
1189 chapters
31102 verses
773692 worlds
Longest World:  Mahershalalhashbaz
Shortest book:  2 John
Longest Book:  Psalms
Shortest Chapter:  Psalm 117
Longest Chapter:  Psalm 119
Shortest verse:  John 11:35
Longest verse:  Esther 8:9
Number of promises:  1260
Number of commands:  6468
Number of questions:  3294
US Daily Bible Distribution:  170,000
Number of writers: 40
Translated into: 1200 language:


Words in the Bible
Men  1860
Lord 7365
God 4293
Offering 523
Moses 804
evil 657
time 787
man 2747
faith 231
hope 121
love 281
holy 671
soul 496
word 737
servant 490
people 2271
father 944
Jesus  953
Kig 2124
Children 1727
Christ 523
Life 550
Son 1980
Heaven 644
King 2124

OLD TESTAMENT
39 books, 929 chapters 23,145 verses 592,439 words
Law:  Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy
History:  Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther
Poetry:  Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon
Major Prophets:  Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, Daniel
Minor Prophets:  Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obaidah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah Malachi

NEW TESTAMENT
Biographies:  Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
History:  Acts
Paul's Letters:  Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians
General Letters:  1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, Jude
Prophecy:  Revelations

Old Testament/New Testament % Chart
OT  59.09%          Books      NT 40.91%
OT  78.13%          Chapters  NT  21.98%
OT  74.41%          Verses     NT  25.59%
OT  76.57%          Words     NT  23.43%

Ain't Misbehavin'

Preparing my five-year-old son, Keegan, for his first overnight sleepover, I explained, "Eat whatever  is served, say thanks, and make sure you behave yourself."
Oh, don't worry, Mom,"  Keegan replied.  "I never sin at anyone else's house."

Passed Note

A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher.  The note ."read:
"Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."
Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing:
"Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife, desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety

Drug Inspection

A Drug Enforcement Administration officer stops at a ranch in Montana and talks with an old rancher. 
He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The old rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes, saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me."  Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to he farmer  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand?"
The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. 
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull.  With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he will get "horned" before he reaches safety.  The officer is clearly terrified. 
The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs, "Your badge!  Show him your badge!"

Travels of the Retired

Travels of the Retired

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.

Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

*I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

*I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close, so it's a short drive.

*I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

*I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to go there too often.

*I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

*Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

*One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get.

*And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible, but life shows me I am not.

*People keep telling me I'm in Denial, but I'm positive I've never been there before.

*So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon

How Old Is Grandpa?

How Old Is Grandpa?
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.  The grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute.  I was born before
television
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
frisbees
credit cards
laser beams
ball-point pens
Pizza Hut
McDonald's
instant coffee
pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers
and space travel
He continued: "When I was a boy, Ice cream cones and Pepsis were a nickel.  A nickel would buy enough stamps to mail a letter and two postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coup for $600 and gas was 11 cents a gallon."
You probably think this is a very old man.  If so, you are in for a shock!  This man would be only 69 years old.

A Deck of Cards

A Deck of Cards

It was a quiet day; the guns, mortars and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.  The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the Lord's day.  As he sat there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?"
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, " No sir.  You see, since I don't have a Bible and can't buy one in this country. I've decided to think about the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
You see the ACE, Sargent?  It reminds me that there is only one God (Ephesians 4:4-6).
The TWO represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments (Hebrews 8:6-7)
The THREE represents the Father, Son and The Holy Ghost (2 Corinthians 13:14).
The FOUR stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (cf. John 20:30-31)
The FIVE is for the five virgins that were wise (Matthew 25:1-13)
The SIX is for the six days it took God to create heaves and earth (Genesis 1:1-31)
The SEVEN is for the day God rested after making His Creation (Genesis 2:1-3).
The EIGHT is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives-the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the earth (Genesis 6-9: 2 Peter 2:5).
The NINE is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy.  He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked him (Luke 17-17)
The TEN represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone (Exodus 20).
The JACK is a reminder that Satan, now the joker of eternal hell (1 Peter 5:8).
The QUEEN stands for the virgin Mary (Matthew 1:18-25).
The KING stands for Jesus, for He is the King of all kings (1 Timothy 6:15).
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.  There are a total of 52 cards in the deck; each is a week-52 weeks in a year.  The four suits represent the four seasons; spring summer, fall and winter (Genesis 1:14).  Each suite has thirteen cards-there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there.  After a minute, he said, "Soldier, may I borrow that deck of cards?"