A Miracle Coming On
A burglar broke into a house one night. He flashed his flashlight around looking for valuables. When he picked up a CD Player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a little while, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next score, and then clicked the light back on, and began searching again for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight came to rest on a parrot. Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot, "Yep," the parrot confessed, and then squawked. "I'm trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who are you?"
"Moses," replied the parrot.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed. What kind of stupid people would name their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replied, "probably the same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."
Thursday, May 26, 2011
For Laughs
For Laughs
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming froma grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig Van Beethoven, 1770-1827. He ealizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him, By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing again backwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day, the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then, the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?", the caretaker says incredulously.
He's decomposing!
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming froma grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig Van Beethoven, 1770-1827. He ealizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him, By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing again backwards. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day, the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then, the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?", the caretaker says incredulously.
He's decomposing!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A Survival kit for Everyday
A Survival Kit for Everyday
Toothpick
Rubber Band
Pencil
Eraser
Chewing Gum
Mint
Candy Kiss
Tea Bag
Toothpick - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. Matthew 7:1
Rubber Band - to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you way, but it will work out. Romans 8:28
Band-Aid - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. Colossians 3:12-14
Pencil - to remind you to list your blessings every day. Ephesians 1:3
Eraser - to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay! Genesis 50: 15-21
Chewing Gum - tgo remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything with Jesus! Philippians 4:13
Mint - to remind you that you are worth a mint to your heavenly Father. John 3: 16-17
Candy Kiss - to remind you that everyone needs to a kiss or a hug everyday. 1 John 4:7
Tea Bag - to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Toothpick
Rubber Band
Pencil
Eraser
Chewing Gum
Mint
Candy Kiss
Tea Bag
Toothpick - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. Matthew 7:1
Rubber Band - to remind you to be flexible, things might not always go the way you way, but it will work out. Romans 8:28
Band-Aid - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. Colossians 3:12-14
Pencil - to remind you to list your blessings every day. Ephesians 1:3
Eraser - to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay! Genesis 50: 15-21
Chewing Gum - tgo remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything with Jesus! Philippians 4:13
Mint - to remind you that you are worth a mint to your heavenly Father. John 3: 16-17
Candy Kiss - to remind you that everyone needs to a kiss or a hug everyday. 1 John 4:7
Tea Bag - to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of God's blessings. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Monday, May 16, 2011
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