How Old Is Grandpa?

How Old Is Grandpa?
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.
The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.  The grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute.  I was born before
television
penicillin
polio shots
frozen foods
Xerox
contact lenses
frisbees
credit cards
laser beams
ball-point pens
Pizza Hut
McDonald's
instant coffee
pantyhose
air conditioners
dishwashers
clothes dryers
and space travel
He continued: "When I was a boy, Ice cream cones and Pepsis were a nickel.  A nickel would buy enough stamps to mail a letter and two postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coup for $600 and gas was 11 cents a gallon."
You probably think this is a very old man.  If so, you are in for a shock!  This man would be only 69 years old.

A Deck of Cards

A Deck of Cards

It was a quiet day; the guns, mortars and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.  The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the Lord's day.  As he sat there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?"
The soldier replied, "I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The soldier said, " No sir.  You see, since I don't have a Bible and can't buy one in this country. I've decided to think about the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
You see the ACE, Sargent?  It reminds me that there is only one God (Ephesians 4:4-6).
The TWO represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments (Hebrews 8:6-7)
The THREE represents the Father, Son and The Holy Ghost (2 Corinthians 13:14).
The FOUR stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John (cf. John 20:30-31)
The FIVE is for the five virgins that were wise (Matthew 25:1-13)
The SIX is for the six days it took God to create heaves and earth (Genesis 1:1-31)
The SEVEN is for the day God rested after making His Creation (Genesis 2:1-3).
The EIGHT is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives-the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the earth (Genesis 6-9: 2 Peter 2:5).
The NINE is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy.  He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked him (Luke 17-17)
The TEN represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone (Exodus 20).
The JACK is a reminder that Satan, now the joker of eternal hell (1 Peter 5:8).
The QUEEN stands for the virgin Mary (Matthew 1:18-25).
The KING stands for Jesus, for He is the King of all kings (1 Timothy 6:15).
When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.  There are a total of 52 cards in the deck; each is a week-52 weeks in a year.  The four suits represent the four seasons; spring summer, fall and winter (Genesis 1:14).  Each suite has thirteen cards-there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.
So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood there.  After a minute, he said, "Soldier, may I borrow that deck of cards?"

Kid Wisdom

• When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don't answer.
• Never tell your Mom her diet's not working.
• Stay away from prunes.
• Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
• If you want a kitty, start out by asking for a horse.
• Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
• Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a basketball bat.
• When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone.