Jokes

1. A university student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers.."

Taking advantage of a pause in the student's litany, the senior said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young. So we invented them!"

2. Three friends from the local congregation were asked "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and a servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

Don said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"

3. The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.

4. All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

5. Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.