For instance, you may be a farmer's wife if:
You call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice.
The vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone.
Your second vehicle is still a pickup.
Your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn.
A night out involves the local 4-H club.
You've ever washed the kids or the dishes with a pressure washer.
Picking rock is considered a chance to get out of the house.
Taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic.
You can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them.
The shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells.
You ever went on a date to the rodeo.
The directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last, or gravel road.
Lacey or Frilly is a farm animal but not your nightgown.
Being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer.
Your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband.
You plan your vacations around farm shows.
Eva Gabor is on your list of Most Admired Persons.
Quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other.
Sharing a cab has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Signs of a Bad Economy
Lately, the economy is so bad that we think it is time for a list of the top ten things that demonstrate the state of the economy.
10. Now a picture is only worth 250 words.
9. Anjelina Jolie just adopted a child from the US.
8. I just got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
7. I saw a Mormon Polygamist who could only afford one wife.
6. Business executives are reduced to playing miniature golf.
5. Parents in Beverly Hills were forced to lay off their nanny and actually learn their children's names.
4. Things have gotten so bad at Wall Street that they had to sell the naming rights. It is now called Wal-Mart Street.
3. When your bank returns a check for insufficient funds, you have to call them and ask if they meant them or you.
2. When you order a burger at McDonald's they now ask "Can you afford fries with that?"
1. Last night, I got so depressed by the economy, the wars, and the state of our savings that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was considering suicide, they got very excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
10. Now a picture is only worth 250 words.
9. Anjelina Jolie just adopted a child from the US.
8. I just got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
7. I saw a Mormon Polygamist who could only afford one wife.
6. Business executives are reduced to playing miniature golf.
5. Parents in Beverly Hills were forced to lay off their nanny and actually learn their children's names.
4. Things have gotten so bad at Wall Street that they had to sell the naming rights. It is now called Wal-Mart Street.
3. When your bank returns a check for insufficient funds, you have to call them and ask if they meant them or you.
2. When you order a burger at McDonald's they now ask "Can you afford fries with that?"
1. Last night, I got so depressed by the economy, the wars, and the state of our savings that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was considering suicide, they got very excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Skillet Macaroni & Beef
Skillet Macaroni & Beef
1 pound ground beef
1.5 cup of elbow macaroni
1/2 cup minced onion
1/2 cup green pepper
2 cans (8 oz. each) tomato sauce
1 cup of water
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
Brown beef in large skillet until meat loses its redness. Remove from skillet. Brown uncooked macaroni, onion, green pepper in meat fat left in skillet until macaroni is yellow. Do not burn. Stir and watch while cooking. Return meat to skillet along with tomato sauce, water, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Mix in skillet.
Cover and simmer 25 minutes or until macaroni is cooked to suit your taste. Makes 6 servings.
Note: This could also be put in a casserole and baked for 25 mintues at 350 degrees.
1 pound ground beef
1.5 cup of elbow macaroni
1/2 cup minced onion
1/2 cup green pepper
2 cans (8 oz. each) tomato sauce
1 cup of water
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
Brown beef in large skillet until meat loses its redness. Remove from skillet. Brown uncooked macaroni, onion, green pepper in meat fat left in skillet until macaroni is yellow. Do not burn. Stir and watch while cooking. Return meat to skillet along with tomato sauce, water, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Mix in skillet.
Cover and simmer 25 minutes or until macaroni is cooked to suit your taste. Makes 6 servings.
Note: This could also be put in a casserole and baked for 25 mintues at 350 degrees.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Save Your life
Subject: Save Your life
Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart
enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you
will go "hmm I must remember that".
After reading, forward it to someone you care about,
never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:
if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he
will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE
MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the
hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you
but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator
will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a
parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car,
at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your
car from the passenger door. Most serial killers
attack their victims by pulling them into their vans
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your
vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk
you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running
target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely
WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy,
the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man,
who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another
candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys,
if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be
reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better safe than sorry.
Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart
enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you
will go "hmm I must remember that".
After reading, forward it to someone you care about,
never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:
if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he
will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE
MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the
hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you
but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator
will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a
parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car,
at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your
car from the passenger door. Most serial killers
attack their victims by pulling them into their vans
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your
vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk
you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running
target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely
WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy,
the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man,
who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another
candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys,
if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be
reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better safe than sorry.
Zinnia
In spite of the dry weather this year, I had this beautiful Zinnia in my garden. Hope you enjoy!!!
Larry the Cable Guy
Larry the Cable Guy
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
CONFETTI CHICKEN
CONFETTI CHICKEN
Casserole
1 cup diced carrots
¾ cup chopped onion
½ cup diced celery
¼ cup chicken broth
1 can (10 ½ ounces) cream of chicken soup
1 cup dairy sour cream
3 cups cubed cooked chicken (~3 boneless, skinless breasts)
½ cup (4 ounces sliced mushrooms
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Confetti Topping
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
½ cup milk
1 tablespoon chopped green pepper
1 tablespoon chopped pimiento
1 ¼ cups (5 ounces) shredded Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese, divided
For casserole: In saucepan, combine carrots, onion, celery and chicken broth. Simmer 20 minutes. In 3-quart casserole, mix soup, sour cream, chicken cubes, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Add simmered vegetables and liquid; mix well.
For confetti topping: In mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add eggs, milk, green pepper, pimiento and 1 cup of the cheese. Mix just until well blended. Drop tablespoons of topping onto casserole and bake in 350 degree F oven for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with remaining ¼ cup cheese and return to oven until melted. Garnish as desired.
Makes 6 to 8 servings
Casserole
1 cup diced carrots
¾ cup chopped onion
½ cup diced celery
¼ cup chicken broth
1 can (10 ½ ounces) cream of chicken soup
1 cup dairy sour cream
3 cups cubed cooked chicken (~3 boneless, skinless breasts)
½ cup (4 ounces sliced mushrooms
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Confetti Topping
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
½ cup milk
1 tablespoon chopped green pepper
1 tablespoon chopped pimiento
1 ¼ cups (5 ounces) shredded Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese, divided
For casserole: In saucepan, combine carrots, onion, celery and chicken broth. Simmer 20 minutes. In 3-quart casserole, mix soup, sour cream, chicken cubes, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Add simmered vegetables and liquid; mix well.
For confetti topping: In mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add eggs, milk, green pepper, pimiento and 1 cup of the cheese. Mix just until well blended. Drop tablespoons of topping onto casserole and bake in 350 degree F oven for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with remaining ¼ cup cheese and return to oven until melted. Garnish as desired.
Makes 6 to 8 servings
Benjamin Franklin Quotations
A Countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
A good conscience is a continual Christmas
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
All would live long, but none would be old.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
At 20 years of age the will reigns at 30 the wit, and 40 the judgement.
Be civil to all: social to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Drive thy business or it will drive thee.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure.
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Glass, china and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
He is ill clothed that is bare of virture.
He that can have patience can have what he will.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees.
A good conscience is a continual Christmas
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
All would live long, but none would be old.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
At 20 years of age the will reigns at 30 the wit, and 40 the judgement.
Be civil to all: social to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Drive thy business or it will drive thee.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure.
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Glass, china and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
He is ill clothed that is bare of virture.
He that can have patience can have what he will.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees.
George Washington Quotations
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for'tis better to be alone than in bad company.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
A Farmer's Last Will
I Leave: To my wife, my overdraft at the bank--maybe she can explain it.
To my Banker, my soul--he has the mortgage on it anyway.
To my neighbor, my clown suit--he'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To the county agent, fifty bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market--I never could.
To the junk man, all my machinery--he's had his eye on it for years.
To my undertaker, a special request--I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pall bearers. They're all used to carrying me.
To the weatherman, rain and sleet and snow for the funeral, please--no sense having good weather now.
To the gravedigger--don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.
To my Banker, my soul--he has the mortgage on it anyway.
To my neighbor, my clown suit--he'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To the county agent, fifty bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market--I never could.
To the junk man, all my machinery--he's had his eye on it for years.
To my undertaker, a special request--I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pall bearers. They're all used to carrying me.
To the weatherman, rain and sleet and snow for the funeral, please--no sense having good weather now.
To the gravedigger--don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.
Things to Do in Wal-Mart
15 things to do at Wal-Mart while your wife is taking her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minutes intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tot he rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a "Caution-"Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "Pick Me!" Pick Me!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
and last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minutes intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tot he rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a "Caution-"Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "Pick Me!" Pick Me!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
and last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Monday, August 9, 2010
Acorn Squash Recipe
Bake 4 of 5 acorn squash that have been cut in half and cleaned out. Place them cut side down on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour at 375.
Scrap out the inside of the squash into a big bowl and add 2 sticks or 1 cup of butter, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp of salt and 3/4 tsp pepper.
Smash with a potato masher and then through a food processor to get it mixed and all the fibers smooth. Bake it at 325 for 45 mintues and then serve or freeze.
Scrap out the inside of the squash into a big bowl and add 2 sticks or 1 cup of butter, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp of salt and 3/4 tsp pepper.
Smash with a potato masher and then through a food processor to get it mixed and all the fibers smooth. Bake it at 325 for 45 mintues and then serve or freeze.
Thomas Jefferson Quotes
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.
Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Do not bite the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.
Enlighten the people, generally and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day.
Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Honesty is the first chapter of book of wisdom.
I cannot live without books.
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself.
No instance exists of a person's writing two languages perfectly. That will always appear to be his native language which was most familiar to him in his youth.
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
Shake of all the feats of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to always to be kept alive.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, with out fearing it.
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no one every will.
Health is worth more than learning.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Advertisements...contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched.
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Do not bite the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.
Enlighten the people, generally and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day.
Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Honesty is the first chapter of book of wisdom.
I cannot live without books.
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself.
No instance exists of a person's writing two languages perfectly. That will always appear to be his native language which was most familiar to him in his youth.
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
Shake of all the feats of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to always to be kept alive.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, with out fearing it.
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no one every will.
Health is worth more than learning.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Advertisements...contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched.
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Chocolate Chip Cookies - Robin
Mix Thoughly:
2/3 cup Crisco
2/3 cup margarine or butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
2 eggs
2 tsp. Vanilla
Sift together and stir in:
3.5 cups of flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
Stir in
12 oz. Chocolate chips
Add chopped nuts if desired.
Bake at 375 for 8-9 minutes. Drop by tsps. about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until delicately brown. Cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before removing from baking sheet.
2/3 cup Crisco
2/3 cup margarine or butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
2 eggs
2 tsp. Vanilla
Sift together and stir in:
3.5 cups of flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
Stir in
12 oz. Chocolate chips
Add chopped nuts if desired.
Bake at 375 for 8-9 minutes. Drop by tsps. about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until delicately brown. Cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before removing from baking sheet.
Humor
A man has reached middle age when he doesn't care where his wife goes as long as she doesn't ask him to come along.
Kids are back to school once again. As parents rejoice, here's a little advice from the five to ten-year-olds:
Question: What is the proper age to get married?
Judy 8 said, "Eight-four, because at that age you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other."
Tommy, 5 said, "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find a wife."
Questions: When is it ok to kiss someone?
Jim, 10, said, "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
Question: Is it better to be single or married?
Lynnette, 9, advised, "It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
Kenny, 7, said, "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Question: Why does love happen between two people?
*If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." Leo, 7
*No one is sure, sayd 9 year-old Jan, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
*You get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful says Harlen, 8.
*"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been hiding from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me," reports eight-year-old Bobby.
Question: Why do people in love hold hands?
*They want to make sure their rings don't fall off," says David 8.
A second grade teacher asked her studnets to complette some well-known proverbs. Here are a few:
Better to be safe than-punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the--bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of-termites.
Don't bite the hand that--looks dirty.
No news is--impossible.
You can't teach an old dog-new math.
An idle mind is-the best way to relax.
Happy is the bride who-gets all the presents.
A penny saved is--not too much.
A man stopped going fishing on Sundays and began to go to church. "Pleased to have you here, George," the pastor said as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well, Pastor, I'm glad to be here too. I decided I'd rather listen to your sermon than my wife's!"
The famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan went to ask for the hand of his prospective bride. Trying to impress her father, he quoted from Proverbs, "Whoesoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor with the Lord."
To his dismay, the father responded. "He that marrieth doeth well, but he that marrieth not doeth better." Bryan thought for a moment and then responded, "Solomon had 700 wives. Paul had none. I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge of marriage." He won herhand.
A church bulletin announced the coffee hour following service as the "Thirst after Righteousness."
A sign outside a church in Dallas, Texas read:
"Premarital Workshop: 8 hours November 17-18th Grief Recovery: November 21st."
Kids are back to school once again. As parents rejoice, here's a little advice from the five to ten-year-olds:
Question: What is the proper age to get married?
Judy 8 said, "Eight-four, because at that age you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other."
Tommy, 5 said, "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find a wife."
Questions: When is it ok to kiss someone?
Jim, 10, said, "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
Question: Is it better to be single or married?
Lynnette, 9, advised, "It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
Kenny, 7, said, "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Question: Why does love happen between two people?
*If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." Leo, 7
*No one is sure, sayd 9 year-old Jan, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
*You get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful says Harlen, 8.
*"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been hiding from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me," reports eight-year-old Bobby.
Question: Why do people in love hold hands?
*They want to make sure their rings don't fall off," says David 8.
A second grade teacher asked her studnets to complette some well-known proverbs. Here are a few:
Better to be safe than-punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the--bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of-termites.
Don't bite the hand that--looks dirty.
No news is--impossible.
You can't teach an old dog-new math.
An idle mind is-the best way to relax.
Happy is the bride who-gets all the presents.
A penny saved is--not too much.
A man stopped going fishing on Sundays and began to go to church. "Pleased to have you here, George," the pastor said as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well, Pastor, I'm glad to be here too. I decided I'd rather listen to your sermon than my wife's!"
The famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan went to ask for the hand of his prospective bride. Trying to impress her father, he quoted from Proverbs, "Whoesoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor with the Lord."
To his dismay, the father responded. "He that marrieth doeth well, but he that marrieth not doeth better." Bryan thought for a moment and then responded, "Solomon had 700 wives. Paul had none. I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge of marriage." He won herhand.
A church bulletin announced the coffee hour following service as the "Thirst after Righteousness."
A sign outside a church in Dallas, Texas read:
"Premarital Workshop: 8 hours November 17-18th Grief Recovery: November 21st."
Hash Brown Potato Casserole
2 lb. bag frozen hash brown potatoes
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup chopped onion
10 oz. sour cream
2 cups shredded sharp cheese
Topping:
1.5 cups crushed corn flakes
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tsp. salt
1 small clove garlic, minced or 1 tsp. garlic powder
Thaw the potatoes overnight in refrigerator. In a very large bowl, combine potatoes with all other ingredients; mix well and pour into 9x13 casserole dish sprayed with Pam. Spread the topping mixture over the top. Bake at 375 degrees for about 45 mintues.
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup chopped onion
10 oz. sour cream
2 cups shredded sharp cheese
Topping:
1.5 cups crushed corn flakes
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tsp. salt
1 small clove garlic, minced or 1 tsp. garlic powder
Thaw the potatoes overnight in refrigerator. In a very large bowl, combine potatoes with all other ingredients; mix well and pour into 9x13 casserole dish sprayed with Pam. Spread the topping mixture over the top. Bake at 375 degrees for about 45 mintues.
Blueberry Salad
2 (3 oz) pkgs. black raspberry (or blackberry) Jello
1 large can blueberry pie filling
1 small can crushed pineapple
3 cups boiling water
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (8 oz.) pkg cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Dissolve Jello in water. Jell slightly. Add pie filling and pineapple. Mix well and congeal.
Topping: Cream remaining ingredients (except pecans). Put on top of above mixture. Then spread nuts on top.
1 large can blueberry pie filling
1 small can crushed pineapple
3 cups boiling water
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (8 oz.) pkg cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Dissolve Jello in water. Jell slightly. Add pie filling and pineapple. Mix well and congeal.
Topping: Cream remaining ingredients (except pecans). Put on top of above mixture. Then spread nuts on top.
Passion Delight
Passion Delight
Layer 1:
1 cup plain flour
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup pecans
Layer 2:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup Cool Whip
1 (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened green food coloring
Layer 3:
2 small boxes vanilla instant pudding
3 cups milk (whole)
red food coloring
Layer 4:
remainder of 8 oz. Cool Whip
3/4 cup browned coconut
Melt margarine in 9x11 pan at 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients for layer 1 and mix in small bowl. Put as a crust in bottom of 9x11 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool.
Brown coconut in 350 degree oven. Let cool and set aside.
Mix all ingredients for layer 2 and spoon over the cooled layer 1.
Mix all ingredients for layer 3. Beat 2 minutes at lowest speed. let set 5 minutes and spoon over layer 2.
Spoon Cool Whip over layer 3 and sprinkle browned coconut on top. Refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.
Layer 1:
1 cup plain flour
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup pecans
Layer 2:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup Cool Whip
1 (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened green food coloring
Layer 3:
2 small boxes vanilla instant pudding
3 cups milk (whole)
red food coloring
Layer 4:
remainder of 8 oz. Cool Whip
3/4 cup browned coconut
Melt margarine in 9x11 pan at 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients for layer 1 and mix in small bowl. Put as a crust in bottom of 9x11 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool.
Brown coconut in 350 degree oven. Let cool and set aside.
Mix all ingredients for layer 2 and spoon over the cooled layer 1.
Mix all ingredients for layer 3. Beat 2 minutes at lowest speed. let set 5 minutes and spoon over layer 2.
Spoon Cool Whip over layer 3 and sprinkle browned coconut on top. Refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.
Horoscope Test
Horoscope Test
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom...
1. Which is your favorite color out of Red, black, blue, green, yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Answers:
1. If you choose: Red -- You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black -- You are conservative and aggressive.
Green -- your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue -- You are spontaneous and love kisses
from the ones you love.
Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good
advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendship in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose...
Black: Your life will taken on a different direction, it will see hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many closer friends you have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose: California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom...
1. Which is your favorite color out of Red, black, blue, green, yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Answers:
1. If you choose: Red -- You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black -- You are conservative and aggressive.
Green -- your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue -- You are spontaneous and love kisses
from the ones you love.
Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good
advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendship in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose...
Black: Your life will taken on a different direction, it will see hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many closer friends you have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose: California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people
Words to Live By
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle BC 384-322 Greek Philosopher
You won't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle BC 384-322 Greek Philosopher
You won't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole
UCLA Study
A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sue's Punch Recipe (Scott)
Make this concentrate first:
1 large box Strawberry jello
1 qt of boiling water
3 cups sugar
Mix well and stir in 2 cans of pineapple juice 32oz each. Freeze a block in a mold and set aside the rest.
To serve place block in punch bowl and pour the mix you set aside into the bowl. Top that with 4 qts of ginger ale.
1 large box Strawberry jello
1 qt of boiling water
3 cups sugar
Mix well and stir in 2 cans of pineapple juice 32oz each. Freeze a block in a mold and set aside the rest.
To serve place block in punch bowl and pour the mix you set aside into the bowl. Top that with 4 qts of ginger ale.
Website Links
Advent Calendar Tutorial http://www.sewmamasew.com/store/media/blog/SMSAdventCalendar.pdf
http://www.foreclosures.longandfoster.com/
http://www.foreclosures.longandfoster.com/
Clothes Dryer
The clothes dryer stopped drying. The repairman went to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. We always clean the lint filter after every load of clothes. He told us that he wanted to show us something. He took the filter over to the sink, and ran hot water over it.
WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the screen! It did not go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a waxy film to build up over the screen, and this does not let the air pass through, so the heating unit overheats and burns out. You cannot SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryers to catch fire, and potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower because your clothes will dry faster) is to clean that filter after every load, and wash it with hot soapy water with an old toothbrush (or other brush) every three months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the screen! It did not go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a waxy film to build up over the screen, and this does not let the air pass through, so the heating unit overheats and burns out. You cannot SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryers to catch fire, and potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower because your clothes will dry faster) is to clean that filter after every load, and wash it with hot soapy water with an old toothbrush (or other brush) every three months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
Bible Sales
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with im and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack. "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the Reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louis and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bible for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louis just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sole 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged.
I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said them when they answered the door!" A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,"W-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with im and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack. "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the Reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louis and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bible for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louis just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sole 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged.
I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said them when they answered the door!" A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,"W-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
Easiest Coconut Cake Recipe
THE Easiest Coconut Cake Recipe in the World!
1 boxed yellow cake mix; any brand
1 can cream of coconut {found in the baking aisle or with the booze mixers}
1 bag shredded coconut
1 small tub Cool Whip; thawed
Prepare cake mix according to package directions & bake in a 9x13 pan. After removing the cake from the oven, let it cool for about 5 minutes. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke holes in the cake; all over. Pour the cream of coconut over the cake so that it soaks in. Frost with Cool Whip and sprinkle with shredded coconut. Chill for about an hour or until ready to serve.
1 boxed yellow cake mix; any brand
1 can cream of coconut {found in the baking aisle or with the booze mixers}
1 bag shredded coconut
1 small tub Cool Whip; thawed
Prepare cake mix according to package directions & bake in a 9x13 pan. After removing the cake from the oven, let it cool for about 5 minutes. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke holes in the cake; all over. Pour the cream of coconut over the cake so that it soaks in. Frost with Cool Whip and sprinkle with shredded coconut. Chill for about an hour or until ready to serve.
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