A man has reached middle age when he doesn't care where his wife goes as long as she doesn't ask him to come along.
Kids are back to school once again. As parents rejoice, here's a little advice from the five to ten-year-olds:
Question: What is the proper age to get married?
Judy 8 said, "Eight-four, because at that age you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other."
Tommy, 5 said, "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find a wife."
Questions: When is it ok to kiss someone?
Jim, 10, said, "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
Question: Is it better to be single or married?
Lynnette, 9, advised, "It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
Kenny, 7, said, "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Question: Why does love happen between two people?
*If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." Leo, 7
*No one is sure, sayd 9 year-old Jan, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
*You get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful says Harlen, 8.
*"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been hiding from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me," reports eight-year-old Bobby.
Question: Why do people in love hold hands?
*They want to make sure their rings don't fall off," says David 8.
A second grade teacher asked her studnets to complette some well-known proverbs. Here are a few:
Better to be safe than-punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the--bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of-termites.
Don't bite the hand that--looks dirty.
No news is--impossible.
You can't teach an old dog-new math.
An idle mind is-the best way to relax.
Happy is the bride who-gets all the presents.
A penny saved is--not too much.
A man stopped going fishing on Sundays and began to go to church. "Pleased to have you here, George," the pastor said as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well, Pastor, I'm glad to be here too. I decided I'd rather listen to your sermon than my wife's!"
The famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan went to ask for the hand of his prospective bride. Trying to impress her father, he quoted from Proverbs, "Whoesoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor with the Lord."
To his dismay, the father responded. "He that marrieth doeth well, but he that marrieth not doeth better." Bryan thought for a moment and then responded, "Solomon had 700 wives. Paul had none. I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge of marriage." He won herhand.
A church bulletin announced the coffee hour following service as the "Thirst after Righteousness."
A sign outside a church in Dallas, Texas read:
"Premarital Workshop: 8 hours November 17-18th Grief Recovery: November 21st."
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