Actual Performance Evaluations - Maybe

Actual Performance Evaluations - Maybe

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is not really so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered, like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village, somewhere of an idiot.
10. This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better.
11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
15. He's been working with glue too much.
16. He would argue with a sign post.
17. He brings a lot of joy...whenever he leaves the room.
18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
19. If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but he train isn't coming.
24. Has 2 brains, 1 is lost and the other is out looking for it.
25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. Take him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
29. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.