1 CORINTHIANS 13 – - A CHRISTMAS VERSION -
By an unknown author
If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook.
If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.
If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.
Love stops the cooking to hug the child.Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.
Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Links
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9712069/
http://www.mcleanfaulconer.com/index.php
http://www.stevensandcompany.net/properties/investment/index.html
http://www.coffeebreakarcade.com/
http://www.findadeath.com/
http://men.msn.com/articlees.aspx?cp-documentid=702596
http://www.thesoutherngospel.com/concerts.html
http://www.realage.com/ralong/entry4.aspx?cbr=BRST15
http://www.mcleanfaulconer.com/index.php
http://www.stevensandcompany.net/properties/investment/index.html
http://www.coffeebreakarcade.com/
http://www.findadeath.com/
http://men.msn.com/articlees.aspx?cp-documentid=702596
http://www.thesoutherngospel.com/concerts.html
http://www.realage.com/ralong/entry4.aspx?cbr=BRST15
Monday, November 22, 2010
Blonde Father
A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys.
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
The blond guy turned to his wife and angrily said, "All right, who's the other father!?!"
My Cosmos are Gorgeous!!
My Cosmos were gorgeous this summer. The last rain that we had really created a lot of of pink and red blooms for me to enjoy!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Man walked into a bar...
A man walked into a bar on a slow night and sat down. After a few minutes, the bartender asked him if he wanted a drink.
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it.
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool,and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
He replied, "No thanks. I don't drink. I tried it once, but I didn't like it."
So the bartender said, "Well, would you like a cigarette?"
But the man said, "No thanks. I don't smoke. I tried it once, but I didn't like it.
The bartender asked him if he'd like to play a game of pool,and again the man said, "No thanks. I don't like pool. I tried it once, but I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be here at all, but I'm waiting for my son."
The bartender said, "Your only son, I'm guessing."
Seven Hills of Lynchburg Virginia
Lynchburg Virginia is called the city of seven Hills which is a distinction that it shares with Rome Italy. Lynchburg offers views of these 7 "Ladies":
1. Diamond Hill and White Rock Hill hve names that reflect their geographic surroudnings.
2. College Hill is named for a Pre-Civil War military school that become a hospital during the war.
3. Federal Hill is named for the former Federal Hotel.
4. Daniel's Hill is named in honor of Judge William Daniel Jr. who owned the Point of Honor Property.
5. Garland Hill was named in honor of a prominent lawyer from the city's early days, Sam Garland Jr.
6. Franklin Hill honors the patriot Benjamin Franklin.
1. Diamond Hill and White Rock Hill hve names that reflect their geographic surroudnings.
2. College Hill is named for a Pre-Civil War military school that become a hospital during the war.
3. Federal Hill is named for the former Federal Hotel.
4. Daniel's Hill is named in honor of Judge William Daniel Jr. who owned the Point of Honor Property.
5. Garland Hill was named in honor of a prominent lawyer from the city's early days, Sam Garland Jr.
6. Franklin Hill honors the patriot Benjamin Franklin.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Parmesan Penne
1 lb. Ground Beef
1 Medium Onion, chopped
1 Can (28 ounces) tomato sauce
1 cup grated Parmesan Cheese, Divided
1/2 Teaspoon ground Allspice
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 Package (16 ounce) Penne Pasta
1/2 Cup Butter, cubed and divided
1/4 cup All-purpose Flour
2 cups milk
2 eggs, lightly beaten
In a large skillet, cook and stir beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the tomato sauce, 1/3 cup of cheese, all spice, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer, uncovered for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package directions. In a large saucepan, melt 1/4 cup butter. Stir in flour until smooth. Gradually add milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat; stir in 1/3 cup Parmesan Cheese. Gradually whisk egg until blended.
Drain pasta. Add the remaining cheese and butter; toss to coat.
Spread a third of the meat mixture in a greased 13" x 9" baking dish. Layer with half of the pasta, a third of the meat mixture and half of the white sauce. Repeat layers.
Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes or until bubbly.
1 Medium Onion, chopped
1 Can (28 ounces) tomato sauce
1 cup grated Parmesan Cheese, Divided
1/2 Teaspoon ground Allspice
Salt and Pepper to taste
1 Package (16 ounce) Penne Pasta
1/2 Cup Butter, cubed and divided
1/4 cup All-purpose Flour
2 cups milk
2 eggs, lightly beaten
In a large skillet, cook and stir beef and onion over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Stir in the tomato sauce, 1/3 cup of cheese, all spice, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, simmer, uncovered for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile, cook pasta according to package directions. In a large saucepan, melt 1/4 cup butter. Stir in flour until smooth. Gradually add milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from the heat; stir in 1/3 cup Parmesan Cheese. Gradually whisk egg until blended.
Drain pasta. Add the remaining cheese and butter; toss to coat.
Spread a third of the meat mixture in a greased 13" x 9" baking dish. Layer with half of the pasta, a third of the meat mixture and half of the white sauce. Repeat layers.
Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes or until bubbly.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Not fat, Just smarter
"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot
more information in our heads." So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started
filling up the rest of me!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
more information in our heads." So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold anymore so it started
filling up the rest of me!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Ladies of days gone by
Ladies of days gone by:
If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Women of today:
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies of days gone by:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Women of today:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies of days gone by:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Women of today:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Ladies of days gone by:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Women of today:
Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies of days gone by:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Women of today:
Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies of days gone by:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Women of today:
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
Ladies of days gone by:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Women of today:
Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies of days gone by:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Women of today:
Leftover wine??
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up".
Women of today:
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies of days gone by:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Women of today:
Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
Ladies of days gone by:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Women of today:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
Ladies of days gone by:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Women of today:
Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Ladies of days gone by:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Women of today:
Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies of days gone by:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Women of today:
Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
Ladies of days gone by:
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Women of today:
Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip....
Ladies of days gone by:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Women of today:
Leftover wine??
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
Dale Carnegie How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry
1. Live in "day-tight compartments."
2. How to face trouble:
a. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?"
b. Prepare to accept the worst.
c. Try to improve on the worst.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
1. Get all the facts.
2. Weigh all the facts--then come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is reached, act!
4. Write out and answer the following questions:
a. What is the problem?
b. What are the causes of the problem?
c. What are the possible solutions?
d. What is the best possible solution?
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
1. Keep busy.
2. Don't fuss about trifles.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
4. Cooperate with the inevitable.
5. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
6. Don't worry about the past.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring Your Peace and Happiness
1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
2. Never try to get even with your enemies.
3. Expect ingratitude.
4. Count your blessings-not your troubles.
5. Do not imitate others.
6. Try to profit from your losses.
7. Create happiness for others.
The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry
1. Pray
Don't Worry about Criticism
1. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
2. Do the very best you can.
3. Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
4. Apply these four good working habits:
a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
b. Do things in the order of their importance.
c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
d. Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
5. Put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Don't worry about insomnia.
1. Live in "day-tight compartments."
2. How to face trouble:
a. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?"
b. Prepare to accept the worst.
c. Try to improve on the worst.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health.
Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry
1. Get all the facts.
2. Weigh all the facts--then come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is reached, act!
4. Write out and answer the following questions:
a. What is the problem?
b. What are the causes of the problem?
c. What are the possible solutions?
d. What is the best possible solution?
Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
1. Keep busy.
2. Don't fuss about trifles.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
4. Cooperate with the inevitable.
5. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
6. Don't worry about the past.
Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring Your Peace and Happiness
1. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
2. Never try to get even with your enemies.
3. Expect ingratitude.
4. Count your blessings-not your troubles.
5. Do not imitate others.
6. Try to profit from your losses.
7. Create happiness for others.
The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry
1. Pray
Don't Worry about Criticism
1. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
2. Do the very best you can.
3. Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
4. Apply these four good working habits:
a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
b. Do things in the order of their importance.
c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
d. Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
5. Put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Don't worry about insomnia.
Dale Carnegie Principles
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Become a Friendlier Person
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in he other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important -- and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person's opinion. Never say, "you're wrong."
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly, and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying, "yes, yes" immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
18. Be sympathetic wih the other person's ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challange.
Be a Leader
22 Begin with praise and honest appreication.
23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approvation and lavish in your priase."
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make a fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Become a Friendlier Person
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in he other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
9. Make the other person feel important -- and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person's opinion. Never say, "you're wrong."
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly, and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying, "yes, yes" immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
18. Be sympathetic wih the other person's ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challange.
Be a Leader
22 Begin with praise and honest appreication.
23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approvation and lavish in your priase."
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make a fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Ways to Cope with Stress
1. Get up 15 minute early.
2. Prepare for the morning the night before
3. Avoid tight fitting clothes
4. Set appointments ahead
5. Write it down...don't rely on your memory
6. Set priorities n your life.
7. Anticipate negative people
8. Simplify meal times
9. Always make copies of important papers
10.Repair anything that doesn't work properly
11.Practice preventative maintenance
12.Ask for help with jobs you dislike
13.Break large tasks into bite size portions
14.Look at problems as challenges
15.Look at challenges differently
16.Unclutter your life
17.Smile
18.Be prepared for rain
19.Tickle a baby
20.Pet a friendly dog/cat
21.Don't know all the answers
22.Teach a kid to fly a kite
23.Walk in the rain
24.Schedule play time into every day
25.Take a bubble bath
26.Be aware of the decision you make
27.Believe in you
28.Stop saying negative things to yourself
29.Visualize yourself winning
30.Develop your sense of humor
31.Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better day
32.Have goals for yourself
33.Dance a jig
34.Say hello to a stranger
35.Ask a friend for a hug
36.Look up at the stars
37.Practice breathing slowly
38.Learn a whistle or a tune
39.Read a poem
40.Listen to a symphony
41.Watch a ballet
42.Read a story curled up in bed
43.Do a brand new thing
44.Stop a bad habit
45.Buy yourself a flower
46.Quit trying to "fix" other people
47.Talk less and listen more
48.Take stock on your achievements
49.Find support from others
50.Ask someone to be your "vent partner"
51.Do it today
52.Work at being cheerful and optimistic
53.Put safety first
54.Do everything in moderation
55.Pay attention to your appearance
56.Strive for excellence; not perfection
57.Stretch your limits a little each day
58.Look at a work of art
59.Hum a jingle
60.Maintain your weight
61.Plant a tree
62.Feed the birds
63.Practice grace under pressure
64.Stand up and stretch
65.Always have a plan "B"
66.Learn a new doodle
67.Memorize a joke
68.Be responsible for your feelings
69.Learn to meet your own needs
70.Become a listener
71.Know your limitations & let others know them too
72.Tell someone to have a good day in pig latin
73.Throw a paper airplane
74.Exercise everyday
75.Learn the words to a new song
76.Get to work early
77.Clean out one closet
78.Play patty cake with a toddler
79.Go on a picnic
80.Take a different route to work
81.Leave work early with permission
82.Put air freshener in your car
83.Watch a movie and eat popcorn
84.Write a note to a far away friend
85.Go to a ball game and scream
86.Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
87.Recognize the importance of unconditional love
88.Remember that stress is an attitude
89.Keep a journal
90.Practice a monster smile
91.Remember you always have options
92.Have a support network of people, place and things
93.Get enough sleep.
94.Freely praise other people
95.Relax - take one day at a time- you have the rest of your life to live!
2. Prepare for the morning the night before
3. Avoid tight fitting clothes
4. Set appointments ahead
5. Write it down...don't rely on your memory
6. Set priorities n your life.
7. Anticipate negative people
8. Simplify meal times
9. Always make copies of important papers
10.Repair anything that doesn't work properly
11.Practice preventative maintenance
12.Ask for help with jobs you dislike
13.Break large tasks into bite size portions
14.Look at problems as challenges
15.Look at challenges differently
16.Unclutter your life
17.Smile
18.Be prepared for rain
19.Tickle a baby
20.Pet a friendly dog/cat
21.Don't know all the answers
22.Teach a kid to fly a kite
23.Walk in the rain
24.Schedule play time into every day
25.Take a bubble bath
26.Be aware of the decision you make
27.Believe in you
28.Stop saying negative things to yourself
29.Visualize yourself winning
30.Develop your sense of humor
31.Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better day
32.Have goals for yourself
33.Dance a jig
34.Say hello to a stranger
35.Ask a friend for a hug
36.Look up at the stars
37.Practice breathing slowly
38.Learn a whistle or a tune
39.Read a poem
40.Listen to a symphony
41.Watch a ballet
42.Read a story curled up in bed
43.Do a brand new thing
44.Stop a bad habit
45.Buy yourself a flower
46.Quit trying to "fix" other people
47.Talk less and listen more
48.Take stock on your achievements
49.Find support from others
50.Ask someone to be your "vent partner"
51.Do it today
52.Work at being cheerful and optimistic
53.Put safety first
54.Do everything in moderation
55.Pay attention to your appearance
56.Strive for excellence; not perfection
57.Stretch your limits a little each day
58.Look at a work of art
59.Hum a jingle
60.Maintain your weight
61.Plant a tree
62.Feed the birds
63.Practice grace under pressure
64.Stand up and stretch
65.Always have a plan "B"
66.Learn a new doodle
67.Memorize a joke
68.Be responsible for your feelings
69.Learn to meet your own needs
70.Become a listener
71.Know your limitations & let others know them too
72.Tell someone to have a good day in pig latin
73.Throw a paper airplane
74.Exercise everyday
75.Learn the words to a new song
76.Get to work early
77.Clean out one closet
78.Play patty cake with a toddler
79.Go on a picnic
80.Take a different route to work
81.Leave work early with permission
82.Put air freshener in your car
83.Watch a movie and eat popcorn
84.Write a note to a far away friend
85.Go to a ball game and scream
86.Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
87.Recognize the importance of unconditional love
88.Remember that stress is an attitude
89.Keep a journal
90.Practice a monster smile
91.Remember you always have options
92.Have a support network of people, place and things
93.Get enough sleep.
94.Freely praise other people
95.Relax - take one day at a time- you have the rest of your life to live!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
The Story Behind the 12 Days of Christmas
There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge that won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ.
Two turtledoves were the Old and new Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leeping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the elevent faithful disciples.
Thw twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief int he Apostles' Creed.
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus Christ.
Two turtledoves were the Old and new Testaments.
Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.
The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.
The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.
The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.
Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit-Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.
Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit- Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.
The ten lords a-leeping were the ten commandments.
The eleven pipers piping stood for the elevent faithful disciples.
Thw twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief int he Apostles' Creed.
10 Reasons I don't like Most Christians - Tony Morgan
1. They consistently seem angry and bitter and worried. I thought Christians were supposed to reflect joy and kindness and peace.
2. They don't dream big dreams. That seems odd given the fact that we're supposedly worshipping a God who is "able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare ask or hope."
3. They seem to worship their theology more than Jesus. For whatever reasons, this appears to be especially true for folks that come from a reformed theology.
4. They don't like it when other people or ministries experience success. Think about it. There are Christians who would be overwhelmed with joy if a church experienced fewer salvation's, fewer baptism and attendance dropped.
5. They use prayer as an excuse of inaction. They're waiting for God to do his thing, but they aren't willing to step out in faith and obedience.
6. They're more concerned with the BMW next door than the lost person who drives it. Christians hate people with money. They're willing to sacrifice time and money for those without it, but they're satisfied to let "rich" people go to Hell.
7. They would rather people live life without Jesus than give up their personal preferences. What happens when your preferred teacher doesn't teach? What happens when your preferred worship leader doesn't lead? What happens when you don't like the music?
8. They are fake. They dress up a certain way on Sunday and they live as completely different people the rest of the week.
9. They think they're better than other people. That's why they create rules to follow. It helps differentiate why they are holy while others are not.
10. They're comfortable with mediocrity. Doesn't matter where. Think Christian movies and music. Think how we invest our time and money. You don't seriously think God deserves our best do you?
2. They don't dream big dreams. That seems odd given the fact that we're supposedly worshipping a God who is "able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare ask or hope."
3. They seem to worship their theology more than Jesus. For whatever reasons, this appears to be especially true for folks that come from a reformed theology.
4. They don't like it when other people or ministries experience success. Think about it. There are Christians who would be overwhelmed with joy if a church experienced fewer salvation's, fewer baptism and attendance dropped.
5. They use prayer as an excuse of inaction. They're waiting for God to do his thing, but they aren't willing to step out in faith and obedience.
6. They're more concerned with the BMW next door than the lost person who drives it. Christians hate people with money. They're willing to sacrifice time and money for those without it, but they're satisfied to let "rich" people go to Hell.
7. They would rather people live life without Jesus than give up their personal preferences. What happens when your preferred teacher doesn't teach? What happens when your preferred worship leader doesn't lead? What happens when you don't like the music?
8. They are fake. They dress up a certain way on Sunday and they live as completely different people the rest of the week.
9. They think they're better than other people. That's why they create rules to follow. It helps differentiate why they are holy while others are not.
10. They're comfortable with mediocrity. Doesn't matter where. Think Christian movies and music. Think how we invest our time and money. You don't seriously think God deserves our best do you?
Ten Ways to Kill Vision in Your Church - By Perry Noble
1. Pray really small prayers...seriously, don't ask god for ANYTHING big. He DID put an interstate highway through a sea, demolish the wall of Jericho and brought the dead back to life..but I'm sure He doesn't do things like that anymore!)
2. Celebrate the past WAY more than you anticipate the future, thus becoming a museum and not a movement!
3. Allow those who have never actually done anything to Jesus dictate to you what they believe you can and can't do for HIM!
4. Listen and response to every critic.
5. Wait until everything makes perfect sense before you make a decision.
6. Spend more time on blogs than you do in your Bible.
7. Become more agenda drive the GOSPEL driven!
8. Actually believe the EVERYONE must be 100% happy with every detail.
9. Vote!
10. Become angry/jealous over what God is doing at other places and become hyper focused on all of their problems, thus overlooking your own!
2. Celebrate the past WAY more than you anticipate the future, thus becoming a museum and not a movement!
3. Allow those who have never actually done anything to Jesus dictate to you what they believe you can and can't do for HIM!
4. Listen and response to every critic.
5. Wait until everything makes perfect sense before you make a decision.
6. Spend more time on blogs than you do in your Bible.
7. Become more agenda drive the GOSPEL driven!
8. Actually believe the EVERYONE must be 100% happy with every detail.
9. Vote!
10. Become angry/jealous over what God is doing at other places and become hyper focused on all of their problems, thus overlooking your own!
Fifteen Signs that A Church Is In Trouble - From Perry Noble
1. When excuses are made about the way things are instead of embracing a willingness to roll up the sleeves and fix the problem.
2. When the church becomes content with merely receiving people that come rather than actually going out and finding them...in other words, they lose their passion for evangelism!
3. The focus of the church is to build a great church (complete with the pastors picture...and his wife's...on everything) and not the Kingdom of God.
4. The leadership begins to settle for the natural rather than rely on the supernatural.
5. The church begins to view success/failure in regards to how they are viewed in the church world rather than whether or not they are actually fulfilling the Great Commission!
6. The leaders within the church cease to be coachable.
7. There is a loss of a sense of urgency! (Hell is no longer hot, sing is no longer wrong and the cross is no longer important!)
8. Scripture isn't central in every decision that is made!
9. The church is reactive rather than proactive.
10. The people in the church lose sign of the next generation and refuse to fund ministry simply because they don't understand"those young people."
11. The goal of the church is to simply maintain the way things are...to NOT rock the boat and/or upset anyone...especially the big givers!
12. The church is no longer willing to take steps of faith because (there is just too much to lose.)
13. The church simply does not care about the obvious and immediate needs that exist in the community.
14. The people learn how to depend on one man to minister to everyone rather than everyone embracing their role in the body, thus allowing the body to care for itself.
15. When the leaders/staff refuse to go the extra mile to leading and serving because of how "inconvenient" doing so would be.
2. When the church becomes content with merely receiving people that come rather than actually going out and finding them...in other words, they lose their passion for evangelism!
3. The focus of the church is to build a great church (complete with the pastors picture...and his wife's...on everything) and not the Kingdom of God.
4. The leadership begins to settle for the natural rather than rely on the supernatural.
5. The church begins to view success/failure in regards to how they are viewed in the church world rather than whether or not they are actually fulfilling the Great Commission!
6. The leaders within the church cease to be coachable.
7. There is a loss of a sense of urgency! (Hell is no longer hot, sing is no longer wrong and the cross is no longer important!)
8. Scripture isn't central in every decision that is made!
9. The church is reactive rather than proactive.
10. The people in the church lose sign of the next generation and refuse to fund ministry simply because they don't understand"those young people."
11. The goal of the church is to simply maintain the way things are...to NOT rock the boat and/or upset anyone...especially the big givers!
12. The church is no longer willing to take steps of faith because (there is just too much to lose.)
13. The church simply does not care about the obvious and immediate needs that exist in the community.
14. The people learn how to depend on one man to minister to everyone rather than everyone embracing their role in the body, thus allowing the body to care for itself.
15. When the leaders/staff refuse to go the extra mile to leading and serving because of how "inconvenient" doing so would be.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin TX
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject (PB&J) sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin TX has a 5-minutes response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who red this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
a. For those with no children-this is totally hysterical!
b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
1. A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "uh oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject (PB&J) sandwiches even though TV commercials show that they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin TX has a 5-minutes response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80% of Men who red this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
25. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
a. For those with no children-this is totally hysterical!
b. For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c. For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
15 Reasons to Read the Bible Daily
1. To be rid of anxiety and have peace (Psalm 119:165)
2. To set things right when life feels out of control (Psalm 19:7-8)
3. To have direction and guidance (Psalm 119:105)
4. To experience healing and deliverance (Psalm 107:20_
5. To grow in the Lord (1 Peter 2:2)
6. To have strength, comfort, and hope (Psalm 119:28, 50, 114)
7. To shape yourself and your life correctly (Psalm 119:11)
8. To be able to see clearly (Psalm 119:130)
9. To know what's really in your heart (Hebrew 4:12)
10. To build faith (Romans 10:17)
11. To have joy (Psalm 19:8)
12. To understand God's power (John 1:1)
13. To have more life in this life. (Psalm 119:50)
14. To distinguish good from evil (Psalm 119:101-102)
15. To understand God's love for you (John 1:14)
2. To set things right when life feels out of control (Psalm 19:7-8)
3. To have direction and guidance (Psalm 119:105)
4. To experience healing and deliverance (Psalm 107:20_
5. To grow in the Lord (1 Peter 2:2)
6. To have strength, comfort, and hope (Psalm 119:28, 50, 114)
7. To shape yourself and your life correctly (Psalm 119:11)
8. To be able to see clearly (Psalm 119:130)
9. To know what's really in your heart (Hebrew 4:12)
10. To build faith (Romans 10:17)
11. To have joy (Psalm 19:8)
12. To understand God's power (John 1:1)
13. To have more life in this life. (Psalm 119:50)
14. To distinguish good from evil (Psalm 119:101-102)
15. To understand God's love for you (John 1:14)
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Baby Shower Invitation
I'm sorry I couldn't be with you,
but I'm awfully busy you see.
Painting my eyes, my cheeks, my hair
So Mother will be proud of me.
I'm sending you this message
To convey to you this thought;
The stork will soon have left me
To use the gift you brought.
Be sure to come and see me
As soon as I get there;
Just give my Mother time to dress me.
So I won't be bare.
And so I thank you from my heart
For each lovely gift for me,
'Cause when I've left my Mother,
I'll not be dressed, you see.
but I'm awfully busy you see.
Painting my eyes, my cheeks, my hair
So Mother will be proud of me.
I'm sending you this message
To convey to you this thought;
The stork will soon have left me
To use the gift you brought.
Be sure to come and see me
As soon as I get there;
Just give my Mother time to dress me.
So I won't be bare.
And so I thank you from my heart
For each lovely gift for me,
'Cause when I've left my Mother,
I'll not be dressed, you see.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Quotes
The Truth will Ouch -- Arnold H. Glasow
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. -- Ken S. Keys, Jr.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." Milton Berle
the man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." Chinese proverb
Be Thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job. bits & Pieces
The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today's work superbly well. Sir William Osler
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Dolly Parton
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle
Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goals. E. Joseph Cossman
Nothing lasts forever-not even your troubles. Arnold H. Glasow.
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. -- Ken S. Keys, Jr.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." Milton Berle
the man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." Chinese proverb
Be Thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job. bits & Pieces
The best preparation for tomorrow is to do today's work superbly well. Sir William Osler
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Dolly Parton
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. Jim Ryun
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Milton Berle
Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goals. E. Joseph Cossman
Nothing lasts forever-not even your troubles. Arnold H. Glasow.
Rug Hookers Psalm
Rug hooking is my hobby--I shall want no other.
It maketh me to lay down my mop and broom-
Walk by my dirty dishes to my hooking room.
It restoreth my piece of mind and leadeth me
Into strange places, wools to find.
Yea, though I am alone with dye pots and wools,
I feel no loneliness.
The snip of shears and click of hook, they comfort me.
I prepare a rug on my frame, sit and hook while my dishpan runneth over.
Surely, I will have a dye in the cereal at breakfast and I will dwell in a state of confusion forever.
Author Unknown
It maketh me to lay down my mop and broom-
Walk by my dirty dishes to my hooking room.
It restoreth my piece of mind and leadeth me
Into strange places, wools to find.
Yea, though I am alone with dye pots and wools,
I feel no loneliness.
The snip of shears and click of hook, they comfort me.
I prepare a rug on my frame, sit and hook while my dishpan runneth over.
Surely, I will have a dye in the cereal at breakfast and I will dwell in a state of confusion forever.
Author Unknown
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Peace Lily
The Peace Lily is related to other aroids, including anthurium and alocasia. The plant has glossy, pointed and oval leaves that emerge from the soil. Typical of the aroids, the white flowers emerge from the leaf stalk surrounded by a cupped white spathe that gradually fades from pure white to greenish or yellow over time. The central spadix is white or yellow. These plants are native to the rainforests of Central and South America.
Growing Conditions:
Light: They are shade-loving plants in their native habitats, and in the home they prefer light to moderate shade. Some varieties can withstand more light.
Water: During the summer, water and mist frequently. They thrive with higher humidity. In water, reduce watering, but never allow the soil to dry out.
Temperature: They really prefer moist warmth; avoid cold drafts and temperatures below 55ºF if possible.
Soil: These plants like a rich, loose potting soil containing plenty of organic material.
Fertilizer: Feed weekly in the summer, or use slow-release pellets at the beginning of the season.
Propagation:
Peace Lilies are easy to propagate by division during repotting.
Repotting:
Annually, in the spring or as needed. Large plants can be divided into clumps, which can then be independently potted. Always use high-quality potting soil.
Varieties:
Peace Lilies have been heavily hybridized, and there are currently dozens of varieties available. They range from miniature to massive, from deep green with snow-white flowers to golden-leaved beauties. Some of the hybrids include:
•S. Mauna Loa. A larger plant, up to 2 feet
•S. Mojo. A striking, large plant with vibrant green leaves
•S. Golden Delicious. The new growth is golden-green
•S. Starlight. The narrow leaves on this plant have wavy margins. The plant is known for heavy, multiple blooms, with as many as 20 flowers on a single plant.
Grower's Tips:
The Peace Lily is a striking plant when used in a massed display. They bloom in the spring with long-lasting flowers that hover gracefully over the leaves on thin stalks, although they can be forced to bloom in the fall or winter. A very well-grown Peace Lily may bloom twice a year, resulting in several months of flowers. All spathiphyllum are vulnerable to bugs including aphids, mites and scale, as well as root rot if they are allowed to sit in water. Curled, pale leaves generally indicate too much light. Scorched leaves indicate direct sun. Plants that are not properly fertilized may fail to bloom.
Growing Conditions:
Light: They are shade-loving plants in their native habitats, and in the home they prefer light to moderate shade. Some varieties can withstand more light.
Water: During the summer, water and mist frequently. They thrive with higher humidity. In water, reduce watering, but never allow the soil to dry out.
Temperature: They really prefer moist warmth; avoid cold drafts and temperatures below 55ºF if possible.
Soil: These plants like a rich, loose potting soil containing plenty of organic material.
Fertilizer: Feed weekly in the summer, or use slow-release pellets at the beginning of the season.
Propagation:
Peace Lilies are easy to propagate by division during repotting.
Repotting:
Annually, in the spring or as needed. Large plants can be divided into clumps, which can then be independently potted. Always use high-quality potting soil.
Varieties:
Peace Lilies have been heavily hybridized, and there are currently dozens of varieties available. They range from miniature to massive, from deep green with snow-white flowers to golden-leaved beauties. Some of the hybrids include:
•S. Mauna Loa. A larger plant, up to 2 feet
•S. Mojo. A striking, large plant with vibrant green leaves
•S. Golden Delicious. The new growth is golden-green
•S. Starlight. The narrow leaves on this plant have wavy margins. The plant is known for heavy, multiple blooms, with as many as 20 flowers on a single plant.
Grower's Tips:
The Peace Lily is a striking plant when used in a massed display. They bloom in the spring with long-lasting flowers that hover gracefully over the leaves on thin stalks, although they can be forced to bloom in the fall or winter. A very well-grown Peace Lily may bloom twice a year, resulting in several months of flowers. All spathiphyllum are vulnerable to bugs including aphids, mites and scale, as well as root rot if they are allowed to sit in water. Curled, pale leaves generally indicate too much light. Scorched leaves indicate direct sun. Plants that are not properly fertilized may fail to bloom.
Steve Covey - 7 Habits
1. Be Proactive
2. Being with the End in Mind.
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win/Win
5. Seek first to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
2. Being with the End in Mind.
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win/Win
5. Seek first to Understand, Then to be Understood
6. Synergize
7. Sharpen the Saw
'Twas the night before Christmas - insurance adjustors version
'Twas the night before Christmas - insurance adjustors version
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. EST 12/25/2006) and all through the house (single family, masonry veneer 1 1/2 story with basement, 1128 ground floor sq. ft. 5-6 corners, territory 68, PC 1)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (through pride of ownership and excellent maintenance.) The ( flame retardant) stockings were hung by the (contractor installed) chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (in spite of dead-bolt locks and ADT central station alarm system, certificate on file.)
The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled snug in their beds (check MVR on 16 year old - possible undisclosed driver) While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads (must check for drug use.)
Mama in her kerchief (scheduled heirloom) and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter’s nap (check employment - is insured sleeping all day?)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of premises, housekeeping etc), I jumped out of bed to see what’s the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, threw back the curtains and tore open the sash (intentional destructive act - no coverage. Also, as far as we know, insured only wearing a cap in front of uncovered window.)
What to my wondrous eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer (note to check if sleigh rated business use and corporate owned). With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick (order medical on 600 year old driver; notify life underwriter for possible table rating).
More rapid than eagles (check MVR for speeding violations) his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible aggressive driver?) : Now Dasher (turbo equip?) now Dancer (classic?) now Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle), On Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again ) on Donner (4x4) and Blitzen (possible drinking problem?)
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall (check for structural damage also look into height exposures), Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. (also old man climbing walls either in great shape or overly medicated?) So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too (check for possible retail delivery classification of autos).
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof (check for shingle damage also classification of operations; roofing is a prohibited class). As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur (scheduled items) from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (part time job as firefighter?) . A bundle of toys he had flung on his back (Check to see if insured has safety committee, check lifting training) And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled, His dimples how merry, His cheeks were like roses, His nose like cherry (order updated medical report, possible alcohol drinking abuse ? ). The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth
(note - not eligible for non-tobacco discount) And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to make sure operational). He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf (overweight for height - additional table rating?)
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (home invasion, stranger enters past alarm and insured not worried? Possible risk). He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk (review workplace for ergonomic compliance). And laying his finger side of his nose (obscene gesture?) And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose ( check operations, chimney sweeps are prohibited classification, look into CGL PD deductible.)
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle (not likely with fat man and sleigh full of toys. Check GVW for proper classification, Light/Service/Local seems unlikely). But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation, 24hr service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of business and limits of liability).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. EST 12/25/2006) and all through the house (single family, masonry veneer 1 1/2 story with basement, 1128 ground floor sq. ft. 5-6 corners, territory 68, PC 1)
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (through pride of ownership and excellent maintenance.) The ( flame retardant) stockings were hung by the (contractor installed) chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (in spite of dead-bolt locks and ADT central station alarm system, certificate on file.)
The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled snug in their beds (check MVR on 16 year old - possible undisclosed driver) While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads (must check for drug use.)
Mama in her kerchief (scheduled heirloom) and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter’s nap (check employment - is insured sleeping all day?)
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of premises, housekeeping etc), I jumped out of bed to see what’s the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, threw back the curtains and tore open the sash (intentional destructive act - no coverage. Also, as far as we know, insured only wearing a cap in front of uncovered window.)
What to my wondrous eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny reindeer (note to check if sleigh rated business use and corporate owned). With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick (order medical on 600 year old driver; notify life underwriter for possible table rating).
More rapid than eagles (check MVR for speeding violations) his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible aggressive driver?) : Now Dasher (turbo equip?) now Dancer (classic?) now Prancer (check lifestyle) now Vixen (definitely check lifestyle), On Comet (possible muscle deer) on Cupid (lifestyle again ) on Donner (4x4) and Blitzen (possible drinking problem?)
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall (check for structural damage also look into height exposures), Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. (also old man climbing walls either in great shape or overly medicated?) So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too (check for possible retail delivery classification of autos).
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof (check for shingle damage also classification of operations; roofing is a prohibited class). As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur (scheduled items) from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (part time job as firefighter?) . A bundle of toys he had flung on his back (Check to see if insured has safety committee, check lifting training) And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled, His dimples how merry, His cheeks were like roses, His nose like cherry (order updated medical report, possible alcohol drinking abuse ? ). The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth
(note - not eligible for non-tobacco discount) And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to make sure operational). He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf (overweight for height - additional table rating?)
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (home invasion, stranger enters past alarm and insured not worried? Possible risk). He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk (review workplace for ergonomic compliance). And laying his finger side of his nose (obscene gesture?) And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose ( check operations, chimney sweeps are prohibited classification, look into CGL PD deductible.)
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle (not likely with fat man and sleigh full of toys. Check GVW for proper classification, Light/Service/Local seems unlikely). But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation, 24hr service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of business and limits of liability).
Bill of Personal Rights
1. You have the right to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
2. You have the right to say NO without feeling guilty.
3. You have the right to not have to justify yourself to others.
4. You have the right to ask for what you want.
5. You have the right to ask for help.
6. You have the right to get what you pay for.
7. You have the right to make mistakes.
8. You have the right to be listened to.
9. You have the right to put yourself first.
10. You have the right to change your mind.
11. You have the right to ignore the advice of others.
12. You have the right to not take responsibility for others' feelings, needs and wishes.
13. You have the right to be alone.
14. You have the right to choose to be assertive or passive.
2. You have the right to say NO without feeling guilty.
3. You have the right to not have to justify yourself to others.
4. You have the right to ask for what you want.
5. You have the right to ask for help.
6. You have the right to get what you pay for.
7. You have the right to make mistakes.
8. You have the right to be listened to.
9. You have the right to put yourself first.
10. You have the right to change your mind.
11. You have the right to ignore the advice of others.
12. You have the right to not take responsibility for others' feelings, needs and wishes.
13. You have the right to be alone.
14. You have the right to choose to be assertive or passive.
Instructions for Life
1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at any one's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Life a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
2. Memorize your favorite poem.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at any one's dreams.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don't judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly, but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask "Why do you want to know?"
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Call your mom.
16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
20. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps.
21. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
23. Spend some time alone.
24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
26. Read more books and watch less TV.
27. Life a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.
28. Trust in God but lock your car.
29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.
30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation Don't bring up the past.
31. Read between the lines.
32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
33. Be gentle with the earth.
34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.
35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
36. Mind your own business.
37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.
38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.
40. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.
43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
44. Remember that your character is your destiny.
45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Time Management Quotes
1. Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life. Ralph Waldo Emerson
2. Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and get to work. H. L. Hunt
3. Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal. Elbert Hubbard
4. A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life. Charles Darwin
5. Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. Mark Twain
6. The tragedy of man is not that man dies, but what dies within man while he is alive. Albert Schweitzer
7. Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of. Benjamin Franklin
8. See'st thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before men. Proverbs 22:29
9. Don't start your day until you have it finished on paper first. Jim Rohn
10. And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
2. Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and get to work. H. L. Hunt
3. Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal. Elbert Hubbard
4. A man who dares to waste one hour of life has not discovered the value of life. Charles Darwin
5. Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. Mark Twain
6. The tragedy of man is not that man dies, but what dies within man while he is alive. Albert Schweitzer
7. Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of. Benjamin Franklin
8. See'st thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before men. Proverbs 22:29
9. Don't start your day until you have it finished on paper first. Jim Rohn
10. And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Think about This
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exits, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes form it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will fee much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exits, loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes form it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will fee much better when they know.
15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.
Quotes
1. If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. Catherine Aird
2. The business of a leader is to turn weakness into strength, obstacles into stepping stones, and disaster into triumph.
3. Leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.
4. Age is only important when talking of cheese or wine.
5. A good leader inspires people to have confidence in her; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.
2. The business of a leader is to turn weakness into strength, obstacles into stepping stones, and disaster into triumph.
3. Leaders are ordinary people with extraordinary determination.
4. Age is only important when talking of cheese or wine.
5. A good leader inspires people to have confidence in her; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
White Bible Ceremony
In the southern United States, the White Bible Ceremony is an old tradition for the bride-to-be, along with the groom-to-be. The couple is honored at a private or public gathering. They are presented with flowers and a white Bible. Each flower is a symbol of an important ingredient necessary for a successful marriage.
This can be an intimate gathering of family and close friends or it can be open to all of the wedding guests, whatever the couple wants. This can be performed by a minister or by one or more family members. Some couples have the mothers of the bride and groom do the ceremony. Other couples include both sets of parents and even grandparents in this important evening.
Consider having this ceremony as a part of your pre-wedding activities, even if you are not from the south. It is a passing on of a beautiful formula for a successful marriage from one generation to another.
The formula? Basically seeking God's guidance in your daily life as a married couple through reading His Word and praying together.
The White Bible Ceremony presents items to build a beautiful bouquet.
You will need:
2 Red Roses
1 Yellow Rose
1 White Rose
1 Red Carnation
1 White Carnation
Bouquet Greenery
Length of Ribbon (about 20")
New White Bible (preferably NIV)
Try not to get a King James Bible if you want the bride and groom to read it often. I prefer the NIV or New International Version Bible as it is easy to understand. King James Bibles usually cost less but are difficult to understand. This means that the King James Bible will probably not be opened very much.
There is a greater chance that the NIV Bible will be read more often by the couple since it is easy to read and understand. If you purchase a study Bible, the couple can better apply the words and teachings to their lives.
There are other modern translations for the couple to receive as well but the NIV is currently the most accurate modern translation.
The ceremony wording can be written by the officiant or a family member or it can be found online.
It is okay to write the wording for your own White Bible Ceremony based on the sample wording below or you can use the sample as is.
Have the couple stand up in front of everyone during the ceremony or they can sit in chairs or on stools facing the audience.
The flowers should be presented to the bride-to-be. As she receives each flower, she will create a bouquet in her hand. The groom-to-be can help her tie it together when the ribbon is presented. Then he can hold the bouquet as the White Bible is presented to her.
________________________________________
We are so happy that (bride's name) and (groom's name) will soon be joined together as man and wife. We, as your family and friends, congratulate you and wish you all of the happiness and joy you deserve as you begin your new life together.
Today we will be giving you two important things which will help you to form a strong marriage in Christ.
The first item is a bouquet of flowers that we will build, flower by flower. Each flower stands for something that no Christian marriage should be without.
The second item is a Bible. The Bible is the inspired Word of God. Each day, as husband and wife, it is important for you to get into the Word of God, both individually and together as a couple. The answers to all of life's problems are inside this book.
(Present the first red rose.)
A man in love sends red roses on special occasions. Roses symbolize love and unity.
Soon, you will build a new home together. Love will be the foundation of your home. The love that the two of you share is romantic or eros love.
Because you are both Christians, you also have God's love, agape love. This is a patient and unselfish love that comes only from Jesus Christ. This is the kind of love you will need in order for your marriage to survive and thrive.
(Present the yellow rose.)
The yellow rose represents a sincere heart, which you both must have. It also stands for unity. United in Christ, you will grow together as one with sincere love for each other, putting each other's needs ahead of your own.
(Present the second red rose with the white rose.)
The red and white roses together represent unity and passion. Allow Christ to unite the two of you as he is one with his Father. Remember that you will be partners for life so decide now to be united in purpose and in passion.
Talk things over before making hasty decisions. Consult each other. Listen calmly and allow your partner to express his or her emotions. Do not stop communicating openly with each other.
(Present the red carnation.)
This red carnation represents your engagement which was a big decision for both of you. Hopefully, you both prayed to God for guidance in choosing the best possible mate when you started dating. God helped you to make this decision.
You will make many decisions during your marriage. Always remember to pray first and ask God for his divine guidance, not just in the big things, but in all things.
(Present the white carnation.)
This white carnation represents purity. Only Christ can cleanse and purify your hearts and minds from all unrighteousness. Pray often for cleansing so that you are pure in heart as you share your lives.
(Present the greenery.)
This green foliage symbolizes your growth in Christ as you share your lives with each other. As you become more spiritually mature in Christ, you will draw closer to each other and your relationship with each other will deepen.
When and if you are given the gift of children, you will show them how to live a godly life.
(Present the ribbon.)
This ribbon is to tie your bouquet together in the same way that your love for each other binds you together.
When you say your marriage vows you will promise to live with each other for better or worse. We ask God's blessings on your marriage for the better. But there will be times when it seems to be for the worse.
During these times, read God's Word, pray, and trust God to lead you through the tough times. He will never leave you or forsake you.
(Present the White Bible)
(Bride's name) and (Groom's name), turn to God's word each day, looking for Divine guidance from your heavenly Father. He will provide you with everything you need for a successful union.
Read the Bible everyday, in good times and in bad, in times of sorrow and in joy, in times of financial success and failure, in times of illness and in health, as your children are born, as you raise them , and as they leave your home as young adults.
Read your White Bible together and pray, expecting the Lord to bless you greatly.
This can be an intimate gathering of family and close friends or it can be open to all of the wedding guests, whatever the couple wants. This can be performed by a minister or by one or more family members. Some couples have the mothers of the bride and groom do the ceremony. Other couples include both sets of parents and even grandparents in this important evening.
Consider having this ceremony as a part of your pre-wedding activities, even if you are not from the south. It is a passing on of a beautiful formula for a successful marriage from one generation to another.
The formula? Basically seeking God's guidance in your daily life as a married couple through reading His Word and praying together.
The White Bible Ceremony presents items to build a beautiful bouquet.
You will need:
2 Red Roses
1 Yellow Rose
1 White Rose
1 Red Carnation
1 White Carnation
Bouquet Greenery
Length of Ribbon (about 20")
New White Bible (preferably NIV)
Try not to get a King James Bible if you want the bride and groom to read it often. I prefer the NIV or New International Version Bible as it is easy to understand. King James Bibles usually cost less but are difficult to understand. This means that the King James Bible will probably not be opened very much.
There is a greater chance that the NIV Bible will be read more often by the couple since it is easy to read and understand. If you purchase a study Bible, the couple can better apply the words and teachings to their lives.
There are other modern translations for the couple to receive as well but the NIV is currently the most accurate modern translation.
The ceremony wording can be written by the officiant or a family member or it can be found online.
It is okay to write the wording for your own White Bible Ceremony based on the sample wording below or you can use the sample as is.
Have the couple stand up in front of everyone during the ceremony or they can sit in chairs or on stools facing the audience.
The flowers should be presented to the bride-to-be. As she receives each flower, she will create a bouquet in her hand. The groom-to-be can help her tie it together when the ribbon is presented. Then he can hold the bouquet as the White Bible is presented to her.
________________________________________
We are so happy that (bride's name) and (groom's name) will soon be joined together as man and wife. We, as your family and friends, congratulate you and wish you all of the happiness and joy you deserve as you begin your new life together.
Today we will be giving you two important things which will help you to form a strong marriage in Christ.
The first item is a bouquet of flowers that we will build, flower by flower. Each flower stands for something that no Christian marriage should be without.
The second item is a Bible. The Bible is the inspired Word of God. Each day, as husband and wife, it is important for you to get into the Word of God, both individually and together as a couple. The answers to all of life's problems are inside this book.
(Present the first red rose.)
A man in love sends red roses on special occasions. Roses symbolize love and unity.
Soon, you will build a new home together. Love will be the foundation of your home. The love that the two of you share is romantic or eros love.
Because you are both Christians, you also have God's love, agape love. This is a patient and unselfish love that comes only from Jesus Christ. This is the kind of love you will need in order for your marriage to survive and thrive.
(Present the yellow rose.)
The yellow rose represents a sincere heart, which you both must have. It also stands for unity. United in Christ, you will grow together as one with sincere love for each other, putting each other's needs ahead of your own.
(Present the second red rose with the white rose.)
The red and white roses together represent unity and passion. Allow Christ to unite the two of you as he is one with his Father. Remember that you will be partners for life so decide now to be united in purpose and in passion.
Talk things over before making hasty decisions. Consult each other. Listen calmly and allow your partner to express his or her emotions. Do not stop communicating openly with each other.
(Present the red carnation.)
This red carnation represents your engagement which was a big decision for both of you. Hopefully, you both prayed to God for guidance in choosing the best possible mate when you started dating. God helped you to make this decision.
You will make many decisions during your marriage. Always remember to pray first and ask God for his divine guidance, not just in the big things, but in all things.
(Present the white carnation.)
This white carnation represents purity. Only Christ can cleanse and purify your hearts and minds from all unrighteousness. Pray often for cleansing so that you are pure in heart as you share your lives.
(Present the greenery.)
This green foliage symbolizes your growth in Christ as you share your lives with each other. As you become more spiritually mature in Christ, you will draw closer to each other and your relationship with each other will deepen.
When and if you are given the gift of children, you will show them how to live a godly life.
(Present the ribbon.)
This ribbon is to tie your bouquet together in the same way that your love for each other binds you together.
When you say your marriage vows you will promise to live with each other for better or worse. We ask God's blessings on your marriage for the better. But there will be times when it seems to be for the worse.
During these times, read God's Word, pray, and trust God to lead you through the tough times. He will never leave you or forsake you.
(Present the White Bible)
(Bride's name) and (Groom's name), turn to God's word each day, looking for Divine guidance from your heavenly Father. He will provide you with everything you need for a successful union.
Read the Bible everyday, in good times and in bad, in times of sorrow and in joy, in times of financial success and failure, in times of illness and in health, as your children are born, as you raise them , and as they leave your home as young adults.
Read your White Bible together and pray, expecting the Lord to bless you greatly.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Chicken a la King Recipe
Here is a great new recipe that I tried.
1 (10 oz.) package frozen puff pastry shells
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
2 tablespoon butter or margarine, melted
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1/2 cup milk
2 cups chopped chicken cooked
1 (2 oz.) jar diced pimientos, drained
1. Bake pastry shells according to package directions.
2. Meanwhile, saute green pepper in butter in a large skillet until tender. Add soup and milk; stir until smooth. Stir in chicken and pimiento. Cook over medium high heat, stirring constantly until heated.
3. Spoon chicken mixture into pastry shells.
Yield: 4 to 6 servings
*It takes 3 to 4 chicken breast halves to yield 2 cups of chopped meat.
1 (10 oz.) package frozen puff pastry shells
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
2 tablespoon butter or margarine, melted
1 (10 3/4 ounce) can cream of chicken soup, undiluted
1/2 cup milk
2 cups chopped chicken cooked
1 (2 oz.) jar diced pimientos, drained
1. Bake pastry shells according to package directions.
2. Meanwhile, saute green pepper in butter in a large skillet until tender. Add soup and milk; stir until smooth. Stir in chicken and pimiento. Cook over medium high heat, stirring constantly until heated.
3. Spoon chicken mixture into pastry shells.
Yield: 4 to 6 servings
*It takes 3 to 4 chicken breast halves to yield 2 cups of chopped meat.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You may be a farmer's wife if:
For instance, you may be a farmer's wife if:
You call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice.
The vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone.
Your second vehicle is still a pickup.
Your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn.
A night out involves the local 4-H club.
You've ever washed the kids or the dishes with a pressure washer.
Picking rock is considered a chance to get out of the house.
Taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic.
You can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them.
The shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells.
You ever went on a date to the rodeo.
The directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last, or gravel road.
Lacey or Frilly is a farm animal but not your nightgown.
Being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer.
Your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband.
You plan your vacations around farm shows.
Eva Gabor is on your list of Most Admired Persons.
Quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other.
Sharing a cab has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field.
You call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice.
The vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone.
Your second vehicle is still a pickup.
Your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn.
A night out involves the local 4-H club.
You've ever washed the kids or the dishes with a pressure washer.
Picking rock is considered a chance to get out of the house.
Taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic.
You can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them.
The shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells.
You ever went on a date to the rodeo.
The directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last, or gravel road.
Lacey or Frilly is a farm animal but not your nightgown.
Being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer.
Your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband.
You plan your vacations around farm shows.
Eva Gabor is on your list of Most Admired Persons.
Quality time with your hubby means you'll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other.
Sharing a cab has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field.
Signs of a Bad Economy
Lately, the economy is so bad that we think it is time for a list of the top ten things that demonstrate the state of the economy.
10. Now a picture is only worth 250 words.
9. Anjelina Jolie just adopted a child from the US.
8. I just got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
7. I saw a Mormon Polygamist who could only afford one wife.
6. Business executives are reduced to playing miniature golf.
5. Parents in Beverly Hills were forced to lay off their nanny and actually learn their children's names.
4. Things have gotten so bad at Wall Street that they had to sell the naming rights. It is now called Wal-Mart Street.
3. When your bank returns a check for insufficient funds, you have to call them and ask if they meant them or you.
2. When you order a burger at McDonald's they now ask "Can you afford fries with that?"
1. Last night, I got so depressed by the economy, the wars, and the state of our savings that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was considering suicide, they got very excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
10. Now a picture is only worth 250 words.
9. Anjelina Jolie just adopted a child from the US.
8. I just got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
7. I saw a Mormon Polygamist who could only afford one wife.
6. Business executives are reduced to playing miniature golf.
5. Parents in Beverly Hills were forced to lay off their nanny and actually learn their children's names.
4. Things have gotten so bad at Wall Street that they had to sell the naming rights. It is now called Wal-Mart Street.
3. When your bank returns a check for insufficient funds, you have to call them and ask if they meant them or you.
2. When you order a burger at McDonald's they now ask "Can you afford fries with that?"
1. Last night, I got so depressed by the economy, the wars, and the state of our savings that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was considering suicide, they got very excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Skillet Macaroni & Beef
Skillet Macaroni & Beef
1 pound ground beef
1.5 cup of elbow macaroni
1/2 cup minced onion
1/2 cup green pepper
2 cans (8 oz. each) tomato sauce
1 cup of water
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
Brown beef in large skillet until meat loses its redness. Remove from skillet. Brown uncooked macaroni, onion, green pepper in meat fat left in skillet until macaroni is yellow. Do not burn. Stir and watch while cooking. Return meat to skillet along with tomato sauce, water, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Mix in skillet.
Cover and simmer 25 minutes or until macaroni is cooked to suit your taste. Makes 6 servings.
Note: This could also be put in a casserole and baked for 25 mintues at 350 degrees.
1 pound ground beef
1.5 cup of elbow macaroni
1/2 cup minced onion
1/2 cup green pepper
2 cans (8 oz. each) tomato sauce
1 cup of water
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 tablespoon Worcester sauce
Brown beef in large skillet until meat loses its redness. Remove from skillet. Brown uncooked macaroni, onion, green pepper in meat fat left in skillet until macaroni is yellow. Do not burn. Stir and watch while cooking. Return meat to skillet along with tomato sauce, water, salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Mix in skillet.
Cover and simmer 25 minutes or until macaroni is cooked to suit your taste. Makes 6 servings.
Note: This could also be put in a casserole and baked for 25 mintues at 350 degrees.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Save Your life
Subject: Save Your life
Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart
enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you
will go "hmm I must remember that".
After reading, forward it to someone you care about,
never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:
if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he
will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE
MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the
hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you
but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator
will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a
parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car,
at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your
car from the passenger door. Most serial killers
attack their victims by pulling them into their vans
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your
vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk
you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running
target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely
WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy,
the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man,
who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another
candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys,
if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be
reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better safe than sorry.
Please take the time to read this. I know you are smart
enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you
will go "hmm I must remember that".
After reading, forward it to someone you care about,
never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest
point on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans:
if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he
will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE
MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car:
Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the
hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you
but everybody else will.. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,
eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or
making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator
will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a
parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car,
at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your
car from the passenger door. Most serial killers
attack their victims by pulling them into their vans
while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your
vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk
you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs.(Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running
target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely
WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic:
STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy,
the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man,
who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting
women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked
"for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which
is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another
candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys,
if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be
reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it's better safe than sorry.
Zinnia
In spite of the dry weather this year, I had this beautiful Zinnia in my garden. Hope you enjoy!!!
Larry the Cable Guy
Larry the Cable Guy
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
CONFETTI CHICKEN
CONFETTI CHICKEN
Casserole
1 cup diced carrots
¾ cup chopped onion
½ cup diced celery
¼ cup chicken broth
1 can (10 ½ ounces) cream of chicken soup
1 cup dairy sour cream
3 cups cubed cooked chicken (~3 boneless, skinless breasts)
½ cup (4 ounces sliced mushrooms
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Confetti Topping
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
½ cup milk
1 tablespoon chopped green pepper
1 tablespoon chopped pimiento
1 ¼ cups (5 ounces) shredded Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese, divided
For casserole: In saucepan, combine carrots, onion, celery and chicken broth. Simmer 20 minutes. In 3-quart casserole, mix soup, sour cream, chicken cubes, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Add simmered vegetables and liquid; mix well.
For confetti topping: In mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add eggs, milk, green pepper, pimiento and 1 cup of the cheese. Mix just until well blended. Drop tablespoons of topping onto casserole and bake in 350 degree F oven for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with remaining ¼ cup cheese and return to oven until melted. Garnish as desired.
Makes 6 to 8 servings
Casserole
1 cup diced carrots
¾ cup chopped onion
½ cup diced celery
¼ cup chicken broth
1 can (10 ½ ounces) cream of chicken soup
1 cup dairy sour cream
3 cups cubed cooked chicken (~3 boneless, skinless breasts)
½ cup (4 ounces sliced mushrooms
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
Confetti Topping
1 cup sifted all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
½ cup milk
1 tablespoon chopped green pepper
1 tablespoon chopped pimiento
1 ¼ cups (5 ounces) shredded Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese, divided
For casserole: In saucepan, combine carrots, onion, celery and chicken broth. Simmer 20 minutes. In 3-quart casserole, mix soup, sour cream, chicken cubes, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper. Add simmered vegetables and liquid; mix well.
For confetti topping: In mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add eggs, milk, green pepper, pimiento and 1 cup of the cheese. Mix just until well blended. Drop tablespoons of topping onto casserole and bake in 350 degree F oven for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with remaining ¼ cup cheese and return to oven until melted. Garnish as desired.
Makes 6 to 8 servings
Benjamin Franklin Quotations
A Countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
A good conscience is a continual Christmas
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
All would live long, but none would be old.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
At 20 years of age the will reigns at 30 the wit, and 40 the judgement.
Be civil to all: social to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Drive thy business or it will drive thee.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure.
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Glass, china and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
He is ill clothed that is bare of virture.
He that can have patience can have what he will.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees.
A good conscience is a continual Christmas
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
All would live long, but none would be old.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
At 20 years of age the will reigns at 30 the wit, and 40 the judgement.
Be civil to all: social to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.
Drive thy business or it will drive thee.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.
Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to get leisure.
Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Glass, china and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
He is ill clothed that is bare of virture.
He that can have patience can have what he will.
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
He that lives upon hope will die fasting.
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees.
George Washington Quotations
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for'tis better to be alone than in bad company.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
A Farmer's Last Will
I Leave: To my wife, my overdraft at the bank--maybe she can explain it.
To my Banker, my soul--he has the mortgage on it anyway.
To my neighbor, my clown suit--he'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To the county agent, fifty bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market--I never could.
To the junk man, all my machinery--he's had his eye on it for years.
To my undertaker, a special request--I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pall bearers. They're all used to carrying me.
To the weatherman, rain and sleet and snow for the funeral, please--no sense having good weather now.
To the gravedigger--don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.
To my Banker, my soul--he has the mortgage on it anyway.
To my neighbor, my clown suit--he'll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.
To the county agent, fifty bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market--I never could.
To the junk man, all my machinery--he's had his eye on it for years.
To my undertaker, a special request--I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pall bearers. They're all used to carrying me.
To the weatherman, rain and sleet and snow for the funeral, please--no sense having good weather now.
To the gravedigger--don't bother. The hole I'm in should be big enough.
Things to Do in Wal-Mart
15 things to do at Wal-Mart while your wife is taking her sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minutes intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tot he rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a "Caution-"Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "Pick Me!" Pick Me!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
and last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minutes intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tot he rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a "Caution-"Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the them from "Mission Impossible."
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "Pick Me!" Pick Me!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
and last but not least
15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
Monday, August 9, 2010
Acorn Squash Recipe
Bake 4 of 5 acorn squash that have been cut in half and cleaned out. Place them cut side down on a baking sheet and bake for 1 hour at 375.
Scrap out the inside of the squash into a big bowl and add 2 sticks or 1 cup of butter, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp of salt and 3/4 tsp pepper.
Smash with a potato masher and then through a food processor to get it mixed and all the fibers smooth. Bake it at 325 for 45 mintues and then serve or freeze.
Scrap out the inside of the squash into a big bowl and add 2 sticks or 1 cup of butter, 3/4 cup brown sugar, 2 tsp of salt and 3/4 tsp pepper.
Smash with a potato masher and then through a food processor to get it mixed and all the fibers smooth. Bake it at 325 for 45 mintues and then serve or freeze.
Thomas Jefferson Quotes
Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies.
Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Do not bite the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.
Enlighten the people, generally and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day.
Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Honesty is the first chapter of book of wisdom.
I cannot live without books.
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself.
No instance exists of a person's writing two languages perfectly. That will always appear to be his native language which was most familiar to him in his youth.
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
Shake of all the feats of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to always to be kept alive.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, with out fearing it.
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no one every will.
Health is worth more than learning.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Advertisements...contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched.
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Determine never to be idle...It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Do not bite the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.
Enlighten the people, generally and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day.
Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
Honesty is the first chapter of book of wisdom.
I cannot live without books.
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Never spend your money before you have it.
Never trouble another for what you can do for yourself.
No instance exists of a person's writing two languages perfectly. That will always appear to be his native language which was most familiar to him in his youth.
Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
Say nothing of my religion. It is known to God and myself alone. Its evidence before the world is to be sought in my life: if it has been honest and dutiful to society the religion which has regulated it cannot be a bad one.
Shake of all the feats of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to always to be kept alive.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
We confide in our strength, without boasting of it; we respect that of others, with out fearing it.
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no one every will.
Health is worth more than learning.
If our house be on fire, without inquiring whether it was fired from within or without, we must try to extinguish it.
An honest man can feel no pleasure in the exercise of power over his fellow citizens.
Advertisements...contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Some men look at constitutions with sanctimonious reverence, and deem them like the ark of the covenant, too sacred to be touched.
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.
Chocolate Chip Cookies - Robin
Mix Thoughly:
2/3 cup Crisco
2/3 cup margarine or butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
2 eggs
2 tsp. Vanilla
Sift together and stir in:
3.5 cups of flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
Stir in
12 oz. Chocolate chips
Add chopped nuts if desired.
Bake at 375 for 8-9 minutes. Drop by tsps. about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until delicately brown. Cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before removing from baking sheet.
2/3 cup Crisco
2/3 cup margarine or butter
1 cup brown sugar (packed)
2 eggs
2 tsp. Vanilla
Sift together and stir in:
3.5 cups of flour
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
Stir in
12 oz. Chocolate chips
Add chopped nuts if desired.
Bake at 375 for 8-9 minutes. Drop by tsps. about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until delicately brown. Cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before removing from baking sheet.
Humor
A man has reached middle age when he doesn't care where his wife goes as long as she doesn't ask him to come along.
Kids are back to school once again. As parents rejoice, here's a little advice from the five to ten-year-olds:
Question: What is the proper age to get married?
Judy 8 said, "Eight-four, because at that age you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other."
Tommy, 5 said, "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find a wife."
Questions: When is it ok to kiss someone?
Jim, 10, said, "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
Question: Is it better to be single or married?
Lynnette, 9, advised, "It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
Kenny, 7, said, "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Question: Why does love happen between two people?
*If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." Leo, 7
*No one is sure, sayd 9 year-old Jan, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
*You get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful says Harlen, 8.
*"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been hiding from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me," reports eight-year-old Bobby.
Question: Why do people in love hold hands?
*They want to make sure their rings don't fall off," says David 8.
A second grade teacher asked her studnets to complette some well-known proverbs. Here are a few:
Better to be safe than-punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the--bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of-termites.
Don't bite the hand that--looks dirty.
No news is--impossible.
You can't teach an old dog-new math.
An idle mind is-the best way to relax.
Happy is the bride who-gets all the presents.
A penny saved is--not too much.
A man stopped going fishing on Sundays and began to go to church. "Pleased to have you here, George," the pastor said as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well, Pastor, I'm glad to be here too. I decided I'd rather listen to your sermon than my wife's!"
The famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan went to ask for the hand of his prospective bride. Trying to impress her father, he quoted from Proverbs, "Whoesoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor with the Lord."
To his dismay, the father responded. "He that marrieth doeth well, but he that marrieth not doeth better." Bryan thought for a moment and then responded, "Solomon had 700 wives. Paul had none. I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge of marriage." He won herhand.
A church bulletin announced the coffee hour following service as the "Thirst after Righteousness."
A sign outside a church in Dallas, Texas read:
"Premarital Workshop: 8 hours November 17-18th Grief Recovery: November 21st."
Kids are back to school once again. As parents rejoice, here's a little advice from the five to ten-year-olds:
Question: What is the proper age to get married?
Judy 8 said, "Eight-four, because at that age you don't have to work any more, and you can spend all your time loving each other."
Tommy, 5 said, "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find a wife."
Questions: When is it ok to kiss someone?
Jim, 10, said, "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
Question: Is it better to be single or married?
Lynnette, 9, advised, "It is better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them."
Kenny, 7, said, "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
Question: Why does love happen between two people?
*If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long to learn." Leo, 7
*No one is sure, sayd 9 year-old Jan, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular.
*You get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it is not supposed to be so painful says Harlen, 8.
*"Love will find you even if you are trying to hide from it. I've been hiding from it since I was 5 but the girls keep finding me," reports eight-year-old Bobby.
Question: Why do people in love hold hands?
*They want to make sure their rings don't fall off," says David 8.
A second grade teacher asked her studnets to complette some well-known proverbs. Here are a few:
Better to be safe than-punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the--bug is close.
Never underestimate the power of-termites.
Don't bite the hand that--looks dirty.
No news is--impossible.
You can't teach an old dog-new math.
An idle mind is-the best way to relax.
Happy is the bride who-gets all the presents.
A penny saved is--not too much.
A man stopped going fishing on Sundays and began to go to church. "Pleased to have you here, George," the pastor said as he shook his hand enthusiastically.
"Well, Pastor, I'm glad to be here too. I decided I'd rather listen to your sermon than my wife's!"
The famous politician and orator William Jennings Bryan went to ask for the hand of his prospective bride. Trying to impress her father, he quoted from Proverbs, "Whoesoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor with the Lord."
To his dismay, the father responded. "He that marrieth doeth well, but he that marrieth not doeth better." Bryan thought for a moment and then responded, "Solomon had 700 wives. Paul had none. I believe Solomon ought to be the better judge of marriage." He won herhand.
A church bulletin announced the coffee hour following service as the "Thirst after Righteousness."
A sign outside a church in Dallas, Texas read:
"Premarital Workshop: 8 hours November 17-18th Grief Recovery: November 21st."
Hash Brown Potato Casserole
2 lb. bag frozen hash brown potatoes
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup chopped onion
10 oz. sour cream
2 cups shredded sharp cheese
Topping:
1.5 cups crushed corn flakes
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tsp. salt
1 small clove garlic, minced or 1 tsp. garlic powder
Thaw the potatoes overnight in refrigerator. In a very large bowl, combine potatoes with all other ingredients; mix well and pour into 9x13 casserole dish sprayed with Pam. Spread the topping mixture over the top. Bake at 375 degrees for about 45 mintues.
1 stick butter, melted
1/2 cup chopped onion
10 oz. sour cream
2 cups shredded sharp cheese
Topping:
1.5 cups crushed corn flakes
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 tsp. salt
1 small clove garlic, minced or 1 tsp. garlic powder
Thaw the potatoes overnight in refrigerator. In a very large bowl, combine potatoes with all other ingredients; mix well and pour into 9x13 casserole dish sprayed with Pam. Spread the topping mixture over the top. Bake at 375 degrees for about 45 mintues.
Blueberry Salad
2 (3 oz) pkgs. black raspberry (or blackberry) Jello
1 large can blueberry pie filling
1 small can crushed pineapple
3 cups boiling water
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (8 oz.) pkg cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Dissolve Jello in water. Jell slightly. Add pie filling and pineapple. Mix well and congeal.
Topping: Cream remaining ingredients (except pecans). Put on top of above mixture. Then spread nuts on top.
1 large can blueberry pie filling
1 small can crushed pineapple
3 cups boiling water
1/2 cup sour cream
1 (8 oz.) pkg cream cheese
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup chopped pecans
Dissolve Jello in water. Jell slightly. Add pie filling and pineapple. Mix well and congeal.
Topping: Cream remaining ingredients (except pecans). Put on top of above mixture. Then spread nuts on top.
Passion Delight
Passion Delight
Layer 1:
1 cup plain flour
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup pecans
Layer 2:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup Cool Whip
1 (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened green food coloring
Layer 3:
2 small boxes vanilla instant pudding
3 cups milk (whole)
red food coloring
Layer 4:
remainder of 8 oz. Cool Whip
3/4 cup browned coconut
Melt margarine in 9x11 pan at 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients for layer 1 and mix in small bowl. Put as a crust in bottom of 9x11 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool.
Brown coconut in 350 degree oven. Let cool and set aside.
Mix all ingredients for layer 2 and spoon over the cooled layer 1.
Mix all ingredients for layer 3. Beat 2 minutes at lowest speed. let set 5 minutes and spoon over layer 2.
Spoon Cool Whip over layer 3 and sprinkle browned coconut on top. Refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.
Layer 1:
1 cup plain flour
1 stick margarine
1/2 cup pecans
Layer 2:
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup Cool Whip
1 (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened green food coloring
Layer 3:
2 small boxes vanilla instant pudding
3 cups milk (whole)
red food coloring
Layer 4:
remainder of 8 oz. Cool Whip
3/4 cup browned coconut
Melt margarine in 9x11 pan at 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients for layer 1 and mix in small bowl. Put as a crust in bottom of 9x11 pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Let cool.
Brown coconut in 350 degree oven. Let cool and set aside.
Mix all ingredients for layer 2 and spoon over the cooled layer 1.
Mix all ingredients for layer 3. Beat 2 minutes at lowest speed. let set 5 minutes and spoon over layer 2.
Spoon Cool Whip over layer 3 and sprinkle browned coconut on top. Refrigerate for at least 6 hours before serving.
Horoscope Test
Horoscope Test
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom...
1. Which is your favorite color out of Red, black, blue, green, yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Answers:
1. If you choose: Red -- You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black -- You are conservative and aggressive.
Green -- your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue -- You are spontaneous and love kisses
from the ones you love.
Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good
advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendship in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose...
Black: Your life will taken on a different direction, it will see hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many closer friends you have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose: California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people
If you are honest this tells the truth -- it's pretty good. Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!! The answers are at the bottom...
1. Which is your favorite color out of Red, black, blue, green, yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
6. Your favorite number?
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Answers:
1. If you choose: Red -- You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black -- You are conservative and aggressive.
Green -- your soul is relaxed and you are laid back
Blue -- You are spontaneous and love kisses
from the ones you love.
Yellow - you are a very happy person and give good
advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is:
A-K You have a lot of love and friendship in your life.
L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom
S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.
July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose...
Black: Your life will taken on a different direction, it will see hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend.
6. This is how many closer friends you have in your lifetime.
7. If you chose: California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will come true only if you send this to five people
Words to Live By
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle BC 384-322 Greek Philosopher
You won't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. Aristotle BC 384-322 Greek Philosopher
You won't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying there. Edwin Louis Cole
UCLA Study
A study worth sharing with friends both male and female:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Sue's Punch Recipe (Scott)
Make this concentrate first:
1 large box Strawberry jello
1 qt of boiling water
3 cups sugar
Mix well and stir in 2 cans of pineapple juice 32oz each. Freeze a block in a mold and set aside the rest.
To serve place block in punch bowl and pour the mix you set aside into the bowl. Top that with 4 qts of ginger ale.
1 large box Strawberry jello
1 qt of boiling water
3 cups sugar
Mix well and stir in 2 cans of pineapple juice 32oz each. Freeze a block in a mold and set aside the rest.
To serve place block in punch bowl and pour the mix you set aside into the bowl. Top that with 4 qts of ginger ale.
Website Links
Advent Calendar Tutorial http://www.sewmamasew.com/store/media/blog/SMSAdventCalendar.pdf
http://www.foreclosures.longandfoster.com/
http://www.foreclosures.longandfoster.com/
Clothes Dryer
The clothes dryer stopped drying. The repairman went to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. We always clean the lint filter after every load of clothes. He told us that he wanted to show us something. He took the filter over to the sink, and ran hot water over it.
WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the screen! It did not go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a waxy film to build up over the screen, and this does not let the air pass through, so the heating unit overheats and burns out. You cannot SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryers to catch fire, and potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower because your clothes will dry faster) is to clean that filter after every load, and wash it with hot soapy water with an old toothbrush (or other brush) every three months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
WELL...the hot water just sat on top of the screen! It did not go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a waxy film to build up over the screen, and this does not let the air pass through, so the heating unit overheats and burns out. You cannot SEE the film, but it's there. This is also what causes dryers to catch fire, and potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very long time (and to keep your electric bill lower because your clothes will dry faster) is to clean that filter after every load, and wash it with hot soapy water with an old toothbrush (or other brush) every three months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long!
Bible Sales
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles.
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with im and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack. "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the Reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louis and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bible for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louis just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sole 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged.
I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said them when they answered the door!" A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,"W-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment.
Poor Louis stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louis, the minister decided to let him try anyway. He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. he asked them to meet with im and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Eager to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack. "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the Reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church." "Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louis and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bible for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louis just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sole 10 times as many bibles as we could." "Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie shrugged.
I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
impatiently, Paul interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said them when they answered the door!" A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied,"W-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-bucks---o-o-o-or wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you?"
Easiest Coconut Cake Recipe
THE Easiest Coconut Cake Recipe in the World!
1 boxed yellow cake mix; any brand
1 can cream of coconut {found in the baking aisle or with the booze mixers}
1 bag shredded coconut
1 small tub Cool Whip; thawed
Prepare cake mix according to package directions & bake in a 9x13 pan. After removing the cake from the oven, let it cool for about 5 minutes. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke holes in the cake; all over. Pour the cream of coconut over the cake so that it soaks in. Frost with Cool Whip and sprinkle with shredded coconut. Chill for about an hour or until ready to serve.
1 boxed yellow cake mix; any brand
1 can cream of coconut {found in the baking aisle or with the booze mixers}
1 bag shredded coconut
1 small tub Cool Whip; thawed
Prepare cake mix according to package directions & bake in a 9x13 pan. After removing the cake from the oven, let it cool for about 5 minutes. Using the handle of a wooden spoon, poke holes in the cake; all over. Pour the cream of coconut over the cake so that it soaks in. Frost with Cool Whip and sprinkle with shredded coconut. Chill for about an hour or until ready to serve.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Senior Driver
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice followed by a powerful prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
I was stopped at a red ligth at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus; because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the nice man behind started honking like crazy, and he leaned out of his window and screamed "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for the Lord.
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window ad started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there, because I heard him yelling something about sunny beach.
I saw another man waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was an Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing; why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
Bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this was when I noticed the light had changed. So I waved to all my sisters and brothers, smiled at them all, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice followed by a powerful prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
I was stopped at a red ligth at a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus; because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the nice man behind started honking like crazy, and he leaned out of his window and screamed "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for the Lord.
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window ad started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there, because I heard him yelling something about sunny beach.
I saw another man waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was an Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing; why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
Bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this was when I noticed the light had changed. So I waved to all my sisters and brothers, smiled at them all, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!
Brain Stuff...From Cambridge University
O Iny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at cmabrigde Uinvervtisty, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sittll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot sipeling was ipmorantt!
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at cmabrigde Uinvervtisty, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sittll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot sipeling was ipmorantt!
Alzheimers Eye Test
Count every "F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS....
How Many?
Wrong, There are 6--no joke.
Read it again!
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you read below.
Answer: The brain cannot process "OF"
Incredit or What? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F"s on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS....
How Many?
Wrong, There are 6--no joke.
Read it again!
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you read below.
Answer: The brain cannot process "OF"
Incredit or What? Go back and look again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 "F"s on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Tequila and Salt
This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks.
So...
If you are a loving friend,
send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.
And always remember...
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and salt and call me over!
Good friends are like stars....
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"
I would rather have one rose and a king word from friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.
forward to all your friends.
And Don't tell me you're too busy for this..
Don't you know the phrase
"stop and smell the flowers"?
See how many "Bouquets" you end up with!
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only
God Keeps you Going
1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget the rude remarks.
So...
If you are a loving friend,
send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.
And always remember...
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and salt and call me over!
Good friends are like stars....
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.
"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"
I would rather have one rose and a king word from friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.
forward to all your friends.
And Don't tell me you're too busy for this..
Don't you know the phrase
"stop and smell the flowers"?
See how many "Bouquets" you end up with!
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only
God Keeps you Going
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book St. Peter furrows his brow and says," Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and the wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "This is heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book St. Peter furrows his brow and says," Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and the wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "This is heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Cat For Sale
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.
He know that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight cats.
He know that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight cats.
If Only Life was Like a Computer
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to YOU.
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to YOU.
Only in America
Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...do we use the word "politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli" in Latin meaning 'man' and 'ties' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America...do we use the word "politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli" in Latin meaning 'man' and 'ties' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Two Pots
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course,the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it's own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
Of course,the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of it's own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.
Ever Wonder
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery:?
Why is "Abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery:?
Why is "Abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Clever Business Signs
Sign over a Gynecologist's office: Dr Jones, at your cervix.
In a Podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels.
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck sign: We're #1 in the #2 business.
At a Proctologist's door: To expedite your visit please back in.
On a Plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On a Plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
Pizza Shop Slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
In an Nonsmoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.
At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.
On a Fence: Salesmen Welcome! Dog food is expensive.
At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet-miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.
At a Propane Filling station: Thank heaven for Little grills.
In a Podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels.
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
On a Septic Tank Truck sign: We're #1 in the #2 business.
At a Proctologist's door: To expedite your visit please back in.
On a Plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.
On a Plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.
Pizza Shop Slogan: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.
At a Tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.
At a Towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.
On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.
In an Nonsmoking Area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a maternity Room door: Push. Push. Push.
At an Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
On a Taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.
On a Fence: Salesmen Welcome! Dog food is expensive.
At a Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet-miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
In a Restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up.
In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.
At a Propane Filling station: Thank heaven for Little grills.
Stress Management
A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. if I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"
And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life;
1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
4. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
5. If you can't be kind, a least have the decency to be vague.
6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7. If may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
9. When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
10. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
11. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
12. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
13. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
14. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box.
15. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
16. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. if I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."
"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"
And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life;
1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3. Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
4. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
5. If you can't be kind, a least have the decency to be vague.
6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7. If may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
9. When every thing's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
10. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
11. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
12. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
13. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
14. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box.
15. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
16. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
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